Saturday, May 7, 2011

Patience, Faith and the Tension before I Fly

A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says, "I cannot stand any more." God does not heed, he goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Sometimes, I really feel like God stretches me. When people say He won't give you what you can't handle, I say, "Oh, He will...He gives you so much more because He wants you to have to rely on Him." So, this description of an archer staining and pulling back to create the tension and to generate and bind up all that energy as He prepares to unleash the arrow in the direction of His Will...well, to me it's just plain poetic and comforting.

When you consider an arrow, stretched back, aimed, teeming with all that kinetic energy of tension to be unleashed...there's no stopping that act once God has put the arrow into motion. And, with His will being perfect, then we know that nothing can stop His will from being carried out. So, it makes incredible sense that He would need to pull and twist and create such energy within us to snap us into motion.

This is exactly what I have felt over the past year'ish timeframe...something stretching within me...something pulling and twisting and tensing inside. Am I fulfilling my purpose, am I moving in the right direction, am I the best me that I can be, am I moving others toward God or away from God? Haven't I asked these questions before? Why can't life get easier? Why am I still searching? Why am I still hurting? Why am I still disobeying???

I want answers, I want happiness, I want solutions...I want results, I want to fix the things I've done wrong and help others see what they have done wrong. I don't want to hurt people, and I don't want others to hurt me! I want to stop pushing against God's will because when I do, it creates havoc in my life and the lives of those around me.

How can I reconcile these emotions? Only by remembering that the Bible also tells me that my soul will cry out while here on earth as it's yearning to be in Heaven, where it was designed to be. You know how you see a piece of art, or a piece of clothing, or even a person at an event and you think, "Hmmm...that seems out of place..." Well, in a sense, we're all out of place. We're all spiritual souls bound up in earthly, human, sinful bodies just groaning with the need to be joined once and for all with their Creator.

I am so ready to hear that sound of "whish-swoosh" as God releases my arrow and shoots me in that direction...imagine a razor sharp head of the arrow slicing through the air, and anything else that stands in it's way...the feathers on the tail of that shaft guiding and directing the arrow toward it's final purpose and destination...What excitement, what energy~what a sight it will be when I reach the end of the journey and can say..."Oh, Lord, my God, my Shepherd, my designed me, protected me, broke me down and strengthened me, found me when I was lost, carried me when I was unable to walk...Thank you, thank you...what a perfect plan...I couldn't see the beauty in it until just now..."

Will this tension be released tomorrow? I doubt it. Will my current state of "blech" be resolved before the end of this year? I don't know! But God has promised me that I will be a victor "Because I [thou] hast kept the word of His [My] patience." Revelations 3:10 So, until that day...until that day...I will wait...

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