Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Ticking Timebomb They Sent Home from the Hospital


I'm sure no one thought that when they stuffed the folders at the hospital to send home with new parents they were placing in those folders a time bomb.  

Tick...tick...tick...

A free ninety days (or something like that) of a life insurance policy for your baby named after a popular baby food brand.

Tick...tick...tick...

We took our folder and our baby home, having just learned that she had something wrong with her eyes called aniridia (lack of iris in the eye) and that she might have a rare disease called WAGR Syndrome.

Tick...tick...tick...

WAGR...W~Wilms Tumor (Kidney Cancer), A~Aniridia (Possible Glaucoma, Cataracts, Blindness, and more...), G~Genitourinary Abnormalities, R~Range of Developmental Delays.

Tick...tick...tick...

We were told by our doctor that babies normally eat, sleep, and poop.  If our little girl was doing that, we were just fine.  In the meantime, we were waiting for the results of her genetic testing to confirm or lay to rest the theory that our lives were about to change dramatically.

Tick...tick...tick...

One day, I decided to go through the folder from the hospital.  My maternity leave was filled with fear; I was learning to be a mom for the first time, but at the same time, I was afraid that our baby wouldn't grow old enough to even wear an 18 month sized dress we had received as a gift.  I kept myself as busy as I could, and even filled out the flimsy leaflet that was the application for the life insurance plan with a perfect baby face on the front of it.
"List any health conditions the baby has..." it said...

"Aniridia and possibly WAGR Syndrome" I wrote...
Wasn't I naive?

Tick...tick...tick...

A letter arrives in the mail with a perfect baby face on the front, and the perfect baby lips shaped so naturally I could almost hear the coo.
"We regret to inform you that your baby doesn't qualify..."
Tick...tick...tick...
"This by no means is any indication that we don't believe your child will live a healthy life..."
Kaboom...

...This is life with a rare disease...
...This is life when you feel you may be the only ones...
...This is life before we found the International WAGR Syndrome Association...
...And this is why I, from that day forward, refer to the "anonymous" company's insurance policy as the "Blankety-Blank Throw Up Plan"...

BTW, Blankety-Blank Company, she's 10 (and a HALF) now!


Sunday, December 21, 2014

Seeing Beyond the Offense and Giving Grace

Evie praising at Lifest 2014
I was driving into the parking lot at a supermarket chain the other day and was cut off by someone coming from the other direction.  The driver was clearly speeding, which startled and offended me; I had Evie in the car with me, and did not appreciate the "near miss" which endangered my daughter.
My instinct was to fume...
But quite instantly I heard a voice inside me say, "How many people did you cut off?  How many times did you speed into a parking lot when you were picking up medications or running in for milk and you needed to get home as quickly as possible?" "Remember when you were working 10 hour days and then taking Evie to chemo appointments the other days?"

You see, reflecting back on when Evie had cancer, I'm certain that I stopped short, cut off, sped by, tail-gated...you name it.  We'd let our sidewalk go un-shoveled.  I didn't return phone calls.  I can't recall if I even sent out Christmas cards.  I think a hurricane devastated a large portion of the southeastern coast, but I didn't care;  
our world had shrunk down to the size of a 15 month old baby girl with a port in her chest, and poison running through her body in hopes of killing a killer.
So, our few months between the fall of 2005 and the spring of 2006 when Evie was being treated for cancer taught me a lot about grace.  Clearly, we didn't have a neon sign on the top of our car that said, "Be kind, their baby has cancer."  "Please, let them through, they're on the way to the ER with a fever of 104."  "New Year's Eve and on the way back to clinic for a dose of antibiotics because complications with pneumonia!"
The fact of the matter is, you may be judging someone who is experiencing the worst period in his or her life.
Give Grace...

Give grace... by letting the heavily sighing woman behind you move ahead of you in line.  /She may have just worked an overnight shift and now be going home to give the kids a meal before she goes to her second job which barely pays for heat.

Give grace... by waving that person in pleasantly; the person who is trying to "cut in"on the traffic when he or she should have moved over a long time ago.  He or she may have been thinking about when the right time is to call hospice for their mom or dad, and never saw the sign that the lane was ending.

Give grace...by shoveling the neighbor's driveway and sidewalk even though they've never done that for you, and usually take too long to do their own.  They may not shovel in a timely fashion because their daughter has cancer, and they can hardly lay her down to sleep at night let alone during the day when she just got her weekly dose of chemo.  (Yes, our wonderful neighbors in Wisconsin often shoveled us out that long, cold winter...they blessed us by never asking for anything in return, and probably weren't sure if we knew it was them.)

Please, see beyond the offense, and give them grace...you have no idea what news they just received, what horror they just witnessed, what tragedy they are experiencing.

The gift of grace is rarer than the sharpest diamond, and more precious than the finest pearl. 
One size fits all and guaranteed to be just what that person needs.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

WAGR Wednesday~When Dry Mouth Attacks!

It's WAGR Wednesday!  I thought I'd discuss today something that you may or may not experience, but if you do, it's good to know about it!  Dry mouth.  It can happen for a number of different reasons; side effect of chemotherapy, side effect of medication...but regardless of why it happens, it's important to identify it early and to make some changes that can reduce the effects of dry mouth.

I didn't realize that Evie was experiencing dry mouth until I found her in the living room one day and her mouth was bleeding. At the time, she was a toddler, unsteady on her feet, and didn't have verbal speech yet, I assumed she had fallen and hit her mouth.  However, when I took her to the dentist, he found that her teeth were immobile, and they did not appear to have been damaged in anyway.  He said, however, that she had a tear on her upper gum, and that it looked like the result of dry mouth. 
You know how, when the skin on your hands is dry, you can get cuts on them very easily?  It's the same with dry mouth, and dry eyes.  
Evie had dry mouth for, potentially, a couple of reasons.  1) She had chemotherapy.  2) She was on a blood pressure medication which could cause dry mouth.  Obviously we couldn't change the fact she'd had chemo, but if one of her medications had a potential side effect of dry mouth, maybe we could switch medications.

I, personally, have experienced dry mouth due to an increase in some medication to prevent migraines.  I have to say it was quite unpleasant.  It's not a dry sensation which can be eliminated by drinking water.  I could actually still feel the dryness of my mouth even WHILE having the water in my mouth.  The feeling is like have sores in your mouth (which often do develop from dry mouth); and anything that would touch the inside of my mouth made it hurt.
There's a product line that I started using for myself and Evie called Biotine. It's found in the same area where you would find toothpaste.  There's pastes, mouthwashes, and gels to help eliminate the effects of dry mouth.  I also have used a product called MI Paste which is for purchase, I believe, only in dental offices. 
Eventually, I was able to decrease my migraine medication, and Evie was switched off the medication which was causing her dry mouth.  It's important to try to eliminate what is causing dry mouth if possible, or to remain vigilant in treating it because when dry mouth is left un-treated there are other conditions which occur like tooth decay.  Since the mouth uses saliva to clean itself, a lack of saliva production can lead to a greater amount of decay.

So, while dry mouth isn't the worst condition one can experience, it is uncomfortable, and can lead to further complications.  Staying on top of the situation and treating it with over the counter products like the mouth gel that Evie and I used can help relieve the discomfort and prevent the other dental effects which can occur.

Thanks for taking the time today to read more about some of the things that our loved ones with WAGR Syndrome may experience; the good, the bad, and the somewhere in between. 

  

Friday, February 28, 2014

Favorite Fridays~Mt. Horeb, Relay for Life

The last weekend in July in Mt. Horeb is one of the best weekends of the year...It's Relay for Life, a fundraiser benefiting the American Cancer Society.
Once Evie became a cancer survivor, I knew that we would participate in order to give back to this amazing community what they gave to us during Evie's battle with cancer.  Mt. Horeb, as a small town, gave our family love, support, and a light in the darkness.
A fundraising walk, which includes walking through the night, the Mt. Horeb Relay for Life continues to be one of the most successful, per capita, in the nation.  
I'm honored to have served on a the committee a few years back, and our family team, Evie's Green and Speckled Frogs, raised well over $30,000 in 6 years of participation.
Relay was always exhausting and always rewarding.  Each year, as we would take down our tents, and pack up our campsites, I would think, "I'm not going to do this again; it's just too hard."  But, after I would catch up on sleep, rehydrate and shower; I would remember that the benefits far out-weighed the costs. 

Our Relay often included a fireworks display donated by Thundercat Pyros to honor the memory of someone they lost to cancer.  That display was just as large as the Rhythm and Booms display in Madison for the 4th of July; yet you didn't have to park miles away, and usually you could easily see it from the comfort of your own home if need be.  

Here are some of my favorite Relay memories from 6 years of Relay:
  • Evie and her buddy Isaac leading the survivor lap.
  • When our family would come from a distance: my mom, sister, cousins and their husbands from MN, and Jeff's brother, our sister-in-law, nephew and neice from ME; Jeff's cousins, aunts and uncles driving in from Madison.
  • The Relay that I walked, literally, through the night for the first time and then went to the grand opening of the American Family Children's Hospital the next day.
  • When Julie, our committee chair, played Judge Julie and convicted cancer, and one of the police officers in town cuffed cancer, put in the squad and drove him away...
  • My mother-in-law winning the Dale Arneson award for her many, many years of dedication to Relay (long before Evie even came into our lives).
  • When First Choice Dental sponsored our team and we got their logo on our shirts.
  • Our fundraising fun:  selling Brats in the Lot at Kalscheurs/Millers, Jeff's poker tournaments, my Evie's Courage Cards, Erick and Amy's Keg for a Cure.
  • Walking through the night and talking to different people along the way; sharing our stories of why we Relay.
  • The breakfast, generously served and donated by the Bender family, on Saturday morning.
  • The luminaries; always beautifully decorated, always meaningful, always glowing through out the night, lighting our way as we walked in the darkness.
  • The Luminary Ceremony; hearing the names read over the sound system at Grundahl Park...counting how many times I would hear Evie's name, Jim's, Isaac's, Ellen's, Gladys's...overwhelmed by the love of one community.
I could go on, and on. 

Our family hasn't been to the past few Relays because it has fallen the same weekend as WAGR Weekend (and you CAN'T miss that once you've been THERE)...I wish that I would have know that our last Relay would likely be our LAST Relay.  

Still,I know that every last weekend of July, my heart will be in Mt. Horeb; walking a path that is aglow with candlelight and paved by the sweet dreams for a cure.


Monday, February 24, 2014

Words from a Lunatic who Believes


Yesterday in church, the sermon was about Jesus healing an official’s son.  This passage has never quite affected me the way it did yesterday.  I felt suddenly impassioned and inspired, like a lunatic, to show the faith of the official~to show the faith that he had when he took Jesus at his word… 
When the man heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and begged him to come and heal his son, who was close to death.

“Unless you people see signs and wonders, Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”
The royal official said, “Sir, come down before my child dies.”
“Go” Jesus replied, “your son will live.” The man took Jesus at his word and departed.
John 4:47-50 NIV


Having recently read through our Caringbridge journal from when Evie had cancer, I realized that, I kind of DID show faith like that back at the time of her diagnosis as her doctors sorted through the information they were gathering and tried to determine the appropriate course of action for treating Evie.  Below is my entry from September 23rd of 2005…I have left it as the original as I don’t want to add words to it even if just to correct any grammatical errors.

I know that the prayers being lifted up on Evie’s behalf changed the landscape of her treatment and battle with cancer.   

When all the outrageous circumstances surrounding it are considered, I can almost hear Jesus saying to us in the hospital:

"Go, your daughter will live…"

Chapter 2-- In Which Evie goes to the Hospital and has Nothing much Done...(A Pooh Tale)

Well, after reading all of the entries and prayers and scriptures, I have no doubt that there was some divine intersession that took place today. Literally as the baby crib was being wheeled out, and as we followed the nurses who were taking us to pre-op out of the room our surgery was delayed. I have chills right now again thinking of the prayers that were being lifted up and how this struggle was taking place at that very moment.

The oncologist and the urologist have not come to confident conclusion on how to best treat our little Evie Jo. One would like to biopsy her tumor first and then after deterimining it's stage due chemo to shrink it and then do a partial removal of the kidney. The other wants to do the full removal and follow up with chemo. 

I cried--I was already to the "the-room-is-spinning, I'm-going-to-throw-up, our-baby-is-going-to-be-cut-open" point. So I prayed quickly, "Lord what do I do?" and He said, "call Kelly." (For those who are unfamiliar, Kelly is one of our "go to" gals for WAGR syndrome. Thank you, Kelly, for being an obedient servant to the Lord's calling for you.)

Kelly gave me good, no, great questions to ask the doctors. She also gave me good advice medically, spiritually and personally. So, I went back into the room well armed with confidence and we talked to both doctors again. 

Ultimately, what Jeff and I decided was that as difficult as it was to the put the brakes on when we were rolling down a yucky, but decided course of action, we couldn't deny the "God-incidence" that on the same week as our baby was diagnosed with Wilm's Tumor, that there was a fantastic meeting of the minds in Vancouver where several of the doctors who have operated on our WAGR kids to remove the Wilm's are. Dr. Puccetti, our oncologist, wanted to confer with several of them before deciding our course.

So, praise God, we are home. We still know that our little Evie has this cancer in her, so we are asking for the covering of prayer to protect her and get her ready for her surgery next week. Evie was so funny because she was so hungry and we were talking and talking to the doctors and she was yelling at us so I finally said, "can we please give her some cheerios and get that IV our of her foot???" She was very content to sit and eat her cheerios, and wave at us as we discussed the fate of her Wilm's Tumor and how we will ultimately destroy it. :)

As we drove home, my mom sat in the back seat calling people, Evie was waving, and I was listening to the radio. The song "Held" came on and Natalie Grant sang, "Can you not wait for one hour for your precious Savior?" I thought, yes, we can wait. Lord if you are using this time to do an incredible thing, than we will wait. Those prayers that interceded on our part literally changed the course of Evie's life and our lives this aftermoon. 
 
I have called our church and asked to have a prayer meeting on Sunday afternoon for Evie and they are arranging it, I figure, God gave us time, so lets get some good praying done.

Meanwhile, we're back at home. Evie is a happy little girl and we will be happy to be sleeping in our beds tonight. 

I plan to call the doctors on Monday to check in and see where we're at. Keep praying--obviously God has something fantastic He's working on and just needed a little more time :)

Love you all, Tammie, Jeff and Evie

I recall people saying, "Oh, it will be a long weekend for you at home..."  But it wasn't. 

God was working, God was moving...I had an unexplainable peace, a belief that things would be fine.   

And, look, they are...

I have that same peace with our upcoming move to Reno.  It's mind-boggling, and unbelievable to me that we are uprooting everything here, leaving all the familiar faces, and places~but Jesus is saying, "Go...you are to Go West...I have a great adventure for you there..."

So Jeff and Tammie took Jesus at his word, and departed...

Monday, February 17, 2014

Reflecting on Some Deep Dark Nights


As time goes by, I remember less vividly the details of life when Evie had cancer.  I think it’s a defense mechanism that God has built into our systems, a way for us to recover from difficult periods in our lives.   But I also find that reading my journal from that time provides me with a healthy perspective on life, and reinvigorates me in my walk of faith and in my relationship with God. 

Because I kept a Caringbridge website updated for our friends and family when Evie was sick, I have a great resource that takes me back to those “too-many-late nights” and over-tired days.  I read through much of the journal the other night while riding in the car to MN.  It was wonderful to read through and “feel” my faith during that time.  Here is one of my entries from the first few weeks of Evie’s treatment:


Written Oct 11, 2005 8:06pm
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves and blown here and there ... Eph 4:14

We are indeed becoming stronger because of what we are seeing. I realized today on our way into the clinic for another blood draw that we would never become better people if our battle with cancer was an easy one. If this went too smoothly, we would l never be "in the fire" and change from the experience.

Endure the pain, or stay the same....

So, Evie had a good day. We are still keeping up on the morphine so she continues to drink from her bottles and eat. She seems to want to do more baby food again than adult food. I think the textures are hard for her to swallow due to the soreness of her throat from the chemo. But she ate her dinner well tonight and after her bath was ready for bed.

Her hemoglobin was on the increase, so she did not require a blood transfusion today.

She was hilarious at the hospital...the minute the elevator door opened and she saw people she started waving...she never really stopped until I put her in the car to come home.

Tomorrow she and I will hopefully enjoy a relaxing day at home, then Thursday she has chemo and Friday an eye doctor appointment. I'll have to call the eye clinic ahead of time and see if we can bypass the waiting room since she will be susceptible to germs.

Take care, everyone!

Love, Tammie, Jeff and Evie (who cut a new tooth today! that makes 9!)
Sometimes it's just really good to look back and to see how far you've come...


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

WAGR Wednesday- "Who Does Number 2 Work For?"

(Title credit: Austin Powers...)



It’s WAGR Wednesday!  Every Wednesday I write about one aspect or another of our life that is part of WAGR Syndrome.  Today I’ll write a bit about the unpleasant, and typically unspoken in most public realms, topic of constipation.   
yahoo images
This may get a little “real” people, so if you don’t want the whole scoop on the lack of poop, read no further.
At some point, and quite often it lasting into adulthood, people with WAGR Syndrome will struggle with constipation.  There are many theories behind where this struggle originates:  hypotonia (low muscle tone), vincristine (a chemotherapy that is a standard in the battle against Wilms Tumor), dietary origins, sensory issues…the possibilities are endless.  First I’ll write about the struggles Evie has had, and then I’ll talk about some of the suggestions that other families in our support group have shared on how to overcome constipation. 
 
Aside from the ordinary problems that “typical” babies have with irregularity, Evie experienced the side effects of vincristine when she was being treated for Wilms Tumor in 2005-2006.  Knowing that a side effect of vincristine is constipation, the oncologists we had immediately gave us a standing prescription for miralax and lactulose.  Miralax is considered the “easier,” less aggressive treatment for constipation.  We’d mix it into Evie’s drink each morning and go about our regular business. 

However, we ran into a complication with the vincristine that isn’t common.  We had been told that between the two chemos that Evie was on (vincristine and actinomycin D), the “friendlier” one was vincristine.  Actinomycin D could cause blood counts to drop, thus creating immunosuppression, and would often cause nausea; while vincristine might cause muscle cramping, muscle weakness, constipation, sores in the mouth and throat and hair loss.   
Despite the cautionary words regarding the potency of actinomycin D, vincristine turned out to be our greater nemesis.

Evie developed mouth sores and a sore jaw which prevented her from drinking enough to stay hydrated.  Because the vincristine was the chemo used weekly, we really didn’t have the choice to “hold” the dosage very often; she needed to get the vincristine to be probably treated.  The result was that we had to give her oral morphine so she would keep eating and drinking, thus staying hydrated and getting enough nutrition to combat other side effects.  

The vincristine also caused Evie to throw up EVERY TIME she got it.  (I can also say it happened exactly 5 hours after she would receive the vincristine…how’s that for predictability?)  The oncologists couldn’t figure out why this was happening, because a side effect of vincristine was NOT supposed to be nausea.  As it happened, one day I was talking to our general practitioner about how Evie’s treatment was going, and I mentioned the correlation between vincristine and vomiting.  The GP, whose son also had been treated with vincristine said, “Are you giving her lactulose?”  I said that we hadn’t been because we hadn’t noticed any constipation.  She suggested that we start regularly giving Evie lactulose regardless of if she were constipated or not.   
Her theory was that the vincristine was causing bowel spasms which in turn were causing Evie to vomit.   
I followed her directions and immediately Evie’s vomiting after vincristine ceased.

There is a very common theme in our WAGR support group about constipation.  Following Evie’s chemo treatment, she had repeated issues with constipation, one which was so bad we were a day away from being admitted to the hospital (according to her GP.)  Our greatest defense against Evie getting “stopped up” is encouraging her to go #2 every day, as well as ensuring that she’s staying hydrated.  I have also found that yoga stretches like “bridge,” which stretches out the stomach area, is helpful.

Others in our support group have suggested:
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  •  Pear Juice/Pears
  • Prune Juice/Prunes
  • Applesauce
  • Flaxseed
  • Regular Miralax
  •  Chiropractic Care
  • Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy for Low Muscle Tone
  • Sugar-free Jelly Beans (whatever makes them sugar free causes loose stools…SCORE!)
  • Regular Exercise
  •  Benefiber
  • Probiotics
The thing to be carefully aware of with constipation is that it can lead to serious problems like a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI~because the bladder can’t fully drain when the bowels are full), or an impaction.   
Constipation doesn’t always mean there are no bowel movements, either.   
Some “leakage” around the impacted area can occur, so it may not seem as though there is a problem.  Considering our loved ones with WAGR have a high pain threshold means that there could be a serious problem before they REALLY start to complain of discomfort.  
Jeff and I observed once that we have NEVER talked about poop so much before in our lives prior to having a child.   
“Did she poop?”  “When did she poop last?”  “Was it big or little?”  But, really, the conversations aren’t half as painful as realizing that a week may have passed since her last poop, so we’re willing to “go there” for her own good.  At one point in time we actually had to track the BMs because we couldn’t remember when the last one was.  Don’t be afraid to do that!  You might find a pattern or correlation that you never could have without seeing it there on paper.

So there it is…the scoop on the poop.  I really can’t think of an appropriate way to end this entry other than with a old childhood rhyme: 
Birdie, Birdie, in the sky, dropped a doo-doo in my eye, I didn’t laugh, I didn’t cry, I’m just so glad that cows don’t fly.