What I Learned at the Water's Edge ~ Guest Blogging Day

Then behold, men brought on a bed a man who was paralyzed, whom they sought to bring in a lay before Him. And when they could not find how they might bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the housetop and let him down with his bed through the tiling into the midst before Jesus. When He saw their faith, He said to him, "Man, your sins are forgiven you."

Luke 5:18-20 NKJV

The Child: I shuffle along, kicking up the dry mountain dust, coating my tennis ball in a thick clay-like film. My white cane hits a gnarled tree root that rises up out of the ground. The cane is stuck in the root and its handle slams painfully into the my hip bone. I let out a groan and wince from the sudden jab of pain. I hear my mother inhale sharply in response to this, and know she is frustrated again by the surroundings and the difficulty we are both experiencing.
The Mother: I see my daughter tripping along the rock, rooted, dusty path down to the lakefront. Last night I was in tears in our cabin at camp. I was sweaty, sticky with bug repellant, and tired from the numerous trips to our cabin from the car full of our sleeping bags, pillows, baggage and more. I didn't have a daughter who could carry her own things, so I needed to carry both of our belongings myself.

I was hurt by the "looks" at my daughter from these new peers who did not know her. The looks communicated fear from some and pity from others. None of these felt good to my heart, and I heard the rush of fear rumbling through my head as I experienced a feeling of rejection that I had not known in several years.

Now, the next morning, we are trekking down to the lakefront ahead of the rush of kids in order to try to safely navigate the rocking, dusty, uncertain path straight down into...what? For what? I feel my daughter stumble and my shoulder burns with pain as I squeeze my right hand around her wrist and strain to help her stay on her feet. I take in a sharp breath to try to lessen the intensity of my pain and keep my eyes from tearing up.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

I Didn't Find What I was Looking For ~ Guest Blogging Day

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”  Luke 4:18-19 NIV

A couple of weeks ago this passage in Luke piqued my interest in a sermon at church.  It really struck me because, well, my daughter is blind. 

Now, I’ve read plenty of the stories about the blind being healed in scripture, and that has never bothered me.  I’ve never thought, “Why would God heal one blind person here and another here, but not my daughter?”  I already knew that the answer would be, “He has a different purpose for her, and that does not include being healed at this time.”  

But, this particular verse stood out to me as peculiar because it seemed like a type of mission statement for Jesus, yet it seemed quite limited to me in the use of the word BLIND.

Why not say he would heal lepers, raise the dead, and cast out demons?

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

The Foothills

On the front pages

We read about the lives of others, 

The headlines draw us in,

But never share the volume of their days,

The vastness of their reach.

On the front pages

We realize that we know nothing about their fears;

The fears that stretch beyond the foothills,

And while we fight to reach the mountain,

We get swallowed at its base with fallen rock and sifted sand.

On the front pages

We read about victory one day

And terror the next.

How do we ascend from these foothills?

How do we reach the summit?

How can we climb when we feel shaken inside?

On the front pages

We deny our own demons while pointing at theirs,

Without a thought that our demons

Will ever break loose.

And still the demons run rampant here in the foothills.

On the front pages

We don't read of the Mountain;

We deny it exists and only look here on earth.

We look for answers in the foothills, 
But answers live on peak.

And that's why we have pain.

And that's why we have death.

We try to make sense of life in the foothills,

Yet  were created for life on the Mountain.

Climb, and don't look back.

Climb, and do not fear.

Climb, and know there's a perfect life on the Mountain;

Where you'll look down on the foothills, 

And see Truth through the eyes of God.

Written in response to Sunday Scribblings Writing Prompt:  From the Front Pages 

He is Jealous for Me...

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves all
How He loves...

In a world riddled with pain, I read these words and feel the beauty of them consume me...

After writing in several Caringbridge guestbooks this morning, MY heart turned violently in my chest, and I needed to be reminded of our purpose, and why God created us, how God created us, who God created us to be...

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions
Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

God's love for us is so powerful, we are like a tree caught in the hurricane of his love...we bend, blown over by his love, his plan for us, his mercy...oh, to be bending under the weight of mercy and forgiveness...

...and then suddenly all the pain and afflictions we suffer here on earth are "eclipsed" by HIS glory...

Eclipsed: a total or partial cutting off of view (based from the observer's viewpoint), a dimming of importance, an obstruction or darkening...

So, while our pain and afflictions are still there, and they are still visible from another person's viewpoint; to us, the observers, the suffering is cut off from our view, no longer fully exposed but dimmed, darkened, obscured. The suffering we endure is nothing compared to his glory.

When we feel his glory wash over us, we realize how much God loves us.

He loves us so much that he is jealous for us, and will go to great lengths to have us turn to him. Whenever I start to stray, whenever I start to feel like I'm capable of "going it on my own"; I get blown over, and I wind up on my knees, face down in the ground waiting for the ocean of God's mercy to wash over me.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

As his portion, we are part of his family; we have a unique claim to God's royalty and throne. He is our prize; at the end of the suffering here on earth, we will win our race and claim our prize. But we can't take short cuts, and we can't quit early...to get the prize, we have to finish running on the course that has already been plotted. 


May you all feel his grace overwhelm you today...
May you bend, but not break, in the hurricane of his love...
May the your pain be eclipsed by his glory...
May you know how he loves us...


(All song lyrics were quoted from How He Loves by John Mark Mc Millan)

Not My Ways...

Once upon a time, humanity had no pain, had no fear and had no shame.  But that all changed with a simple exchange that took place in a beautiful garden with flowing rivers, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Genesis 3:4-5; and the woman decided to try to become like God.  Humanity lost it's innocence when the desire to play God was acted upon, and suddenly we knew pain, fear and shame.

Evie with her White Cane

 The curse of that first defiant act of sin was death.  The sin that was acted upon became the sin of generation, upon generation, upon generation.  We are born into sinful flesh and have a sin nature.  Each one of us comes into this world ready to go our own way, to play God.  Consider the selfishness of babies, for example.  People want to say that babies are innocent because, let's face it, they are adorable.  However, they aren't looking for ways to help their parents get a good night sleep.  They want to be changed, fed, and kept warm.  This demonstrates the selfish, sinful nature of humanity.  We come out of the womb and are thinking only of ourselves.  

I'm just wondering how many people realize that even the greatest leaders in the Bible are also flawed and sinful characters.  It's so common today for us to not want to recognize the sin in ourselves and in others.  But in order for us to understand our NEED for salvation, we must understand that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23.  This includes Abraham, Noah, Moses, Aaron, David, and on, and on, and on.  So, when people get uncomfortable because they want to say we (as Christians) are being judgmental or over-critical by acknowledging sin; those people need to realize that the TRUE Christian must recognize that everyone is a sinner.

That being said, if the "wages of sin is death" Romans 6:23, then the most important thing we need in our lives is salvation from our sins.  The apostle Paul writes, "Sin killed me" (Romans 7:11), "I do what I hate" (Romans 7:15) and "Nothing good dwells in me" (7:18).  Paul, especially, is testimony to the redeeming nature of Christ's sacrifice on the cross for us.  Paul, prior to converting to Christianity, was one of the most feared persecutors of Christians!  He murdered the people who believed in Jesus.  I don't know if there's a more dramatic example of a transformation from an old, sinful self into a newly redeemed, passionate soul on a mission to help others find the same redemption.  

Paul says that Christ's death and triumph over the grave has cleared all of the charges against our souls brought on by our sins.  He says that there is "no condemnation" for those who believe in Christ and profess it with our mouths.  (Romans 8:1)

Where am I going with this?  What does this have to do with the fact that Evie

Cancer diagnosis

is blind, that she's suffered through cancer, that we have to always be on guard and monitoring her blood pressure and kidney functions?  

Yesterday I wrote about the splendor of God's creation, the vastness of the Universe, and that fact that he shows his power and wonder in all that he spoke into existence.  And then I posed the question:  if God can do that, then why can't he heal Evie?  

Fact:  He can.
Fact:  He will.

But not.just.yet.

How else will people learn about God if it's not through seeing his ability to bring beauty from pain?  How else with we get softer souls if we don't fall flat on our faces and realize that we can't play God, because we are NOT God?  How else will we be able to praise the Creator if not by praising Him when we are in the midst of a storm?

Anyone can rejoice when things are going well, but it takes true faith to rejoice in the midst of suffering.  Anyone can do something nice for a friend, but it takes true faith to love someone simply because God loves him.  Anyone can learn to be a doctor or scientist and work to cure cancer, heal the blind, or save a kidney from a donor and transplant it to another patient, but only God can rescue their soul from the grip of Hell.  

"God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  Romans 5:8

While we were yet sinners.  So Christ died for me even before I chose Him.  I don't deserve salvation, I haven't earned eternal life in Heaven, but God is going to give it to me anyway, because I've accepted the gift of life through Jesus.

If I had it my way, we wouldn't have to see Evie struggle with so many challenges.  It's painful; it's terribly painful.  But sin has continued to curse the human race since the fall of man back in that beautiful garden with flowing rivers.  If I had it my way, I could read a newspaper and my stomach wouldn't turn because I read about someone burning a body in a fire pit in his yard.  If I had it my way, those who murder would be murdered; those who tease would get teased; and those who steal would be stolen from.  But, thankfully, God's way are not my ways.  I can't get inside the brain of God because he is so huge that he holds the Universe in the palm of his hand.  What can my little, teeny tiny brain understand of him and his ways?

Nothing.

And that's where faith steps in... 

Pain

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost

Our normal reaction to pain is to try and avoid it.  But, as Robert Frost pointed out, one will usually find that the best way to get out of an unpleasant state is to go through it.  Many of my life lessons have taught me this.  And the Bible certainly tells us that we have to go through it in order to get out of it. 

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost

That kind of reminds me of what getting a tattoo is like.  The pain CAN become quite intense at times, so I would almost psychologically lean into the pain.  When the pain becomes hot and searing, I focus intently on the pain and imagine my whole body enveloping the pain and absorbing it.

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost 

I reflect back on those really stressful nights in college and grad school when I just wanted to go to bed because I was mentally exhausted from worrying about a big paper or test that was coming up.  Rather than giving up and going to bed, I would gun it!  I would decide that rather than fall asleep at all, I would just sit down and pound out that paper on the keyboard, or make flashcards to help me study for the test.  Who needs sleep?  Just go for it!

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost

I think about the passages of the Bible that tell us we will go through hard times.  God doesn't tell us we won't have pain, or we won't have heart ache.  God just promises to prepare us for those times and never to leave us during those times. 

"Strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.” (Acts 14:22)

 

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He guards all his bones, not one of them is broken.” (Psalm 34:19)

I was just speaking to the kids at AWANA (a church program for children where they learn about God, the Bible and memorize some key verses) last night about the parting of the Red Sea.  It's a fabulously exciting story to read.  The Israelites are terrified because the Egyptians are hot on their trail.  They come to what appears to be a dead end; the Red Sea. Horrified, the Israelites start crying out to Moses.  Moses quickly calms them by saying,  

 

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14: 13, 14)

Once the Israelites were calm, and quiet, Moses extends his hand over the sea and God sends a remarkable wind; at just the right intensity for the just right amount of time to force the waters apart so the Israelites can safely walk across the entire Red Sea (THROUGH IT), to get to the other side, away from their enemy.  Then, in another twist, the waves come crashing down on the Egyptians and left them dead in the sea.   

God didn't say, "Okay, I'll make the Egyptians go back."  Nor did he say, "Okay, I won't harden their hearts this time."  God tells Moses specifically that he's doing it this way in order to show his glory so everyone, including the Egyptians will KNOW he is God.  The Israelites had to go THROUGH it in order to demonstrate the power and glory of God.  They were scared, hungry and tired, but God got them through it.

I remember back when Evie had cancer, I saw the sign on the highway that said, "To Chicago".  Oh, how I longed to runaway and get "out" of the bondage of cancer.  But I knew I worshiped a big God; a God bigger than cancer, bigger than death.  I had to go through it...that was the only way out.

When Jesus knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane and said, "Father, take this cup..." because he knew that his death was eminent; he knew what the answer would be.  "You must go through it..."

 

How often are we in the midst of pain, and we just want to find a way out?  How often does God answer our prayers, not with an escape plan; rather an attack plan?  If I choose to follow his plan, I will be victorious; I will win the battle.  If I choose to run away, I run away-not from the problem, but I run away from God.. because that's where he is...right there in the middle of my desperate hour, just waiting for me to come through.