They Weren't My Words Anyway

The grass withers and the flowers fall, 

but the word of our God endures forever.

Isaiah 40:8 NIV

As I reflect on how little I write these days, and how often I used to write, I miss being able to go back and read some of the stories and narratives that once I put onto this little digital thing called the internet.

You see, I once did a lot of guest blogging for a special needs ministry blog. And often, I would connect my stories to my personal blog here because they were our stories; the stories of my family, and how our faith grew or was shaped through our journey.

I never kept hard copies of what I wrote because to me, "it would always be on the internet."

Now, however, my personal blog here has a number of posts that are from those "guest blogging days" and give you a taste of what my post was about, but then contain a link that goes NOWHERE. Literally, it takes you to a FORBIDDEN page.

I felt quite melancholy when I realized this. My stories were gone. None of them have "an end." It's as if you start a tv show and only get 1/3 of the way through every single episode!

But God quickly put my feelings in check. He reminded me that everything around us is temporary and that it all belongs TO HIM.

Every sunrise, every stream, every mountain.
Every heartbreak, every fever, every tear.
Every word, every breath, every step. 

If it were God's will for those words I wrote to still be found, He would make them findable. If God has a new story He wants me to tell, He will have me write it. If God meant for those stories I typed to be for one special period in time, then that is where they are and that is where they'll stay.

Because, as much as I'd like to claim ownership of those words and rights to those stories, the fact of the matter is, they weren't my words anyway.  They belonged to God. 

Many are the plans...

Many are the plans in a man's heart, 

but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. 

Proverbs 19:21

We are definitely in a state of transition in my home. With the excitement of summer break approaching, the joy of launching into homeschooling next fall, and the few days that I have left to work this school year, I just feel like none of it can come fast enough.

But God continues to remind me that I need to stop looking so far ahead. There is treasure in TODAY. I may be feeling frustrated with the behaviors of students at school, or I may be anxious about Evie's finals, or I may be wishing that we already had her grades wrapped up and I could file our Notice of Intent to Homeschool paperwork...but God nudged me today in my quiet time with Him and reminded me that I have a bunch of plans in my heart...but He has plans of His own and His plan comes first. 

I cannot miss what He is doing TODAY just because I'm so excited about what our plans are for the next few months. 

I must not run ahead of Him or else I am choosing to run away from Him, because He stands here...right here, TODAY. 

Many are MY plans, Lord...but Your purpose prevails. Amen.

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Life ~ Guest Blogging Day

Evie in the Hospital following her Wilms Tumor diagnosis in 2005

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, 

“Put out into deep water, 

and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, 

“Master, we’ve worked hard all night 

and haven’t caught anything. 

But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

Luke 5: 4-6 NIV

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending a conference in Redding, CA called GrowU.  One of the "top billed" speakers of the event was Chris Brown, who is one of my favorite storytellers because he has a tremendous gift for bringing scripture to life.  

On Saturday night he retold the story of Jesus choosing his first disciples.  And, when Mr. Brown re-tells this story, you suddenly realize how God chooses us today in the very same way as He chose people back in biblical times.  

When you read Luke 5, you read about some fishermen who are cleaning their nets and Jesus asks Simon to take him out in his boat so he can speak to a crowd who has gathered on the shore.  Now, fishermen fish at night, which means, if Simon was in and cleaning his nets, he had just been out fishing all night long.  

Working hard.  

He was exhausted. 

And Jesus comes along and says, "Hey, can you take me out in your boat?"

Ugh.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Well...I Hadn't Planned on That...~Guest Blogging Day

To humans belong the plans of the heart,

but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

All a person’s ways seem pure to them,

but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,

and he will establish your plans.

Proverbs 16:1-3 NIV

Last year our daughter reveled in the glory of watching the K-Love Fan Awards on TV. We had streamed it through our Apple TV and it was a thrilling experience for her. Considering the fact that she doesn't even like watching MOVIES because they run so long, her staying put long enough to watch an award show for 3-4 hours was a miracle.


This year, we had planned to do the same thing. She had even suggested we use TV trays to eat dinner in the family room while we watched. We were ready for an "easy" night...
A.K.A. TV was going to entertain her, and I was likely going to fall asleep.
My husband, fortunately, realized a couple hours before show time that it was NOT going to be streaming live aside from on the radio station.

Uh-oh. 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

My Top 7 Bible Passages to Remember When it's IEP Time ~ Guest Blogging Day

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens...

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

It's time for our daughter to transition to middle school.  More so than moving from Wisconsin to Nevada, this transition is taxing on my mental state.  I mean, I'm a substitute teacher, and I SEE the difference between elementary and middle school every day!!!  So, the fact that God has me simmering on some very comforting verses at THIS particular time has been quite helpful and has kept me CLINGING TO his promises.

Here, in no particular order, are my favorite pieces of scripture to remind me of God's love and faithfulness during IEP season and times of transition...

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

No One Can Understand You (Part 2) ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image Courtesy of Pansa/freedigitalphotos.net

When he has brought out all his own, 

he goes on ahead of them, 

and his sheep follow him 

because they know his voice. 

John 10:4 NIV

Have you ever had the embarrassing experience of carrying on a telephone conversation with someone who you THOUGHT was someone else?

Perhaps it doesn't happen quite as much now with caller ID and the use of cellular phones, but there were many times that people would call our house when I was a teenager and mistake me for my sister or mother.

Our voices can get distorted, and there can be noise on the "line" which makes it difficult to tell one voice from another. 

Similarly, my daughter struggles with her speech, and has always had a speech delay. She was diagnosed with speech apraxia at five years old and developed a stutter as recently as 2012. When she was five and received her apraxia diagnosis, the test results showed that she was only understood by a naive listener 12% of the time. Can you imagine that? A five year old who goes through her day being MOSTLY misunderstood?

I still find that I will "translate" her statements to people if they don't know her well because even with years of speech therapy, her communication is something one has to grow accustomed to.

Where am I going with this? 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

No One Can Understand You (Part 1) ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image Courtesy of Pansa/freedigitalphotos.net

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding—

indeed, if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord

and find the knowledge of God.

~ Proverbs 2:1-5, NIV ~

God has been working on a weakness of mine for a long, long time.

So has Satan. 

I would never have thought that my volunteering or using my “gifts” could become stumbling blocks for me, but, whoa, Nelly… did they ever!

Thankfully, a series of sermons, devotions, and passages from books I’ve been reading finally convinced me that I needed to make a change… 

A BIG CHANGE. 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

Anchors MY Way! ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image "The Old Wooden Anchor on Wood Wall Background" courtesy of cbenjasuwan /freedigitalphotos.net

He has given us both his promise and his oath, two things we can completely count on, for it is impossible for God to tell a lie. Now all those who flee to him to save them can take new courage when they hear such assurances from God; now they can know without doubt that he will give them the salvation he has promised them.

This certain hope of being saved is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls, connecting us with God himself behind the sacred curtains of heaven, where Christ has gone ahead to plead for us from his position as our High Priest, with the honor and rank of Melchizedek.  Hebrews 6:18-20

What on EARTH???  We couldn't quite figure out WHY it was taking so much effort to get the green row boat moving.  I mean, sure, my cousin and I weren't the MOST athletic girls you ever met; but we could certainly row around the lake as we had it dozens of times before.  

When we made the full loop and were rowing up to the dock, we went to drop the anchor and realized we had never pulled the anchor up!  We had left it down and had dragged it along behind us as we exerted all the effort we had to row that little boat around Owl Lake.  

Don't we often do that with our own ANCHOR that Paul writes about in his letter to the Hebrews?

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

All Power Has Been Removed From You~Guest Blogging Day

"Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?"  Even as the words were on his lips, a voice came from heaven, "This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar:  Your royal authority has been taken from you."  Daniel 4:30-31 NIV

"You are an amazing mom."

Those words DO encourage me; they lift me up on weeks like this one, when my daughter's had her Atrial Septal Defect repaired and we got to spend the night in the hospital. Reading the virtual cheers and supportive comments on Facebook gave me energy, and helped me get the boost I needed to power through the long night.  Read More On Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Sovereign and Mighty and Unstoppable

As usual, I'm studying JUST the right book at JUST the right time.  The book of Daniel is a remarkable example of God's sovereignty and power.  It has helped me stay level and calm in the midst of moving across the country, buying and selling a house, and preparing for Evie to have her heart surgery.  

Why am I so calm?  

The study that I'm doing on the book of Daniel has been taking me through, not just Daniel, but other parts of the Bible that speak of God's power and might over the entire realm of humankind.  This morning it took me to Isaiah 14:24, 27:

The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen...For the LORD Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him?  His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?" 

I have nothing to fear, for God, the Almighty, is in control. 

It is NOT up to me to find our house; God already has our house chosen.  So, if we don't get the house we want, that's because God has not willed it, and who am I to question his plan?

It is NOT up to me to sell our house; God has already chosen the person who will buy it.  So, if we don't sell it right away, or to the person who I think would be the best, that's because God has not willed it, and who am I to question his plan?

It is NOT up to me, or any other person, to ensure that all goes smoothly with Evie's surgery; God has already written her story~the story of her life; the story of MY life.  So, if there are complications with health, or billing, or anything in between, that's because God has willed it, and who am I to question his plan?

NO ONE and NO THING can stop God's will~his design is perfect.  

PERIOD.

Get Behind Me, Satan! ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image by Tammie Hefty

I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and I create evil (calamity); I am the Lord, Who does all these things.  Isaiah 45:7 AMP

Do we believe it?  How do we rationalize what God has written here? We like to believe he makes peace, and we can buy into the idea of him ALLOWING bad things to happen in order that he turns them into good things and shows his power and might.  But, do we actually believe that he CREATES calamity?

Read More on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Failure to Fail

Since today is my "first" official day of blogging (outside of my random moments of inspiration over the past several years) without a pre-determined topic assigned by WEGO Health, it stands to reason that I feel a small morsel of trepidation as I boldly go where I have never gone before.  But really, what have I to fear?  I'm not losing money by blogging on a free website.  I'm not going to be hauled off by secret police for my beliefs. So where is the risk that would cause me any fear?

It's actually right inside of me; my fear is the fear of failure.
 

That being said, I'm going to take a look at my life if it were "failure free." Where would I be today if I failed to ever fail?
 

Probably my first sense of failure, although I had undoubtedly failed many times before it, came from my ACT score.  I was going to graduate from high school with a 4.0 GPA...that was a straight A average at the time (I believe it is no longer the same).  When my ACT score came back I  scored in the low 20's; I could not mask my disappointment.  I knew that I was a hard worker, not necessarily just a "smart" kid, but I didn't imagine that I would score so low on a test that would ultimately determine my acceptance into a variety of colleges. 

Of course I mentally beat myself up, and believed myself to be quite a failure when I received my score.  I applied to "safe" schools which I figured would still "accept" me despite my low ACT score.  What if I hadn't done that?  Where would I be today?  I met some of my closest friends in undergraduate school.  I'm still, twenty years later, close to my roommates, and my "floor mates" and even the glorious friends who accepted me "on-campus" despite my living "off campus" at the residential college residence hall.  But, what was the biggest thing about where I went to school for my undergrad?  I met my husband there.  Oh, sure, we didn't date seriously there; he was a few years older, and he graduated soon after we met, but God had a plan.  What if I wouldn't have "failed" at my ACT?  Where would I have met Jeff?

Again, I fell victim to the dreaded standardized test when I took the GRE to go on to graduate school after completing my undergraduate degree.  I graduated from college with a 3.8 GPA, but my GRE scores were quite low.  Still I applied to three schools for graduate studies.  I was rejected by two of them and the third accepted me.  I would be moving to Milwaukee, WI. I didn't know anyone in Milwaukee, and it would be several hours to drive from my family, but I trusted that God had a plan.  When I ran into my "future husband" at a wedding for mutual friends I explained to him that I'd be in Milwaukee soon~and wasn't that close to Madison where he lived?  He explained to me that he had just moved to Milwaukee himself a few months before.  Hmmmm....God had a plan.  Where would I be right now if I had been accepted to the U of M in Minnesota, or to Chapel Hill in North Carolina?  What if I hadn't failed?
 

Old School Photo from a Badger Football game!

I could write about jobs that I applied for and didn't get.  I could write about jobs that I accepted; jobs where I never did quite as well as I'd hoped.  Doesn't everyone have a story of failure?  Yes, everyone does.  But, does everyone look at what would have happened had she NOT failed?  What would she have missed?  What would I have missed?

So, here I am, 38; finally trying my hand at writing...REALLY writing, daily writing, scheduled time to commit to my writing (just like a job, right?).  What can it hurt?  Could I fail?  Sure.  But, failure has led me to great things in my past. 

God has a plan.  He always has a plan.  My failures could very well be God's bragging rites.  He might have my ACT and GRE scores hanging on his fridge in Heaven saying, "Look at that...just like I knew she could do.  It got her EXACTLY where I meant for her to be."