They Weren't My Words Anyway

The grass withers and the flowers fall, 

but the word of our God endures forever.

Isaiah 40:8 NIV

As I reflect on how little I write these days, and how often I used to write, I miss being able to go back and read some of the stories and narratives that once I put onto this little digital thing called the internet.

You see, I once did a lot of guest blogging for a special needs ministry blog. And often, I would connect my stories to my personal blog here because they were our stories; the stories of my family, and how our faith grew or was shaped through our journey.

I never kept hard copies of what I wrote because to me, "it would always be on the internet."

Now, however, my personal blog here has a number of posts that are from those "guest blogging days" and give you a taste of what my post was about, but then contain a link that goes NOWHERE. Literally, it takes you to a FORBIDDEN page.

I felt quite melancholy when I realized this. My stories were gone. None of them have "an end." It's as if you start a tv show and only get 1/3 of the way through every single episode!

But God quickly put my feelings in check. He reminded me that everything around us is temporary and that it all belongs TO HIM.

Every sunrise, every stream, every mountain.
Every heartbreak, every fever, every tear.
Every word, every breath, every step. 

If it were God's will for those words I wrote to still be found, He would make them findable. If God has a new story He wants me to tell, He will have me write it. If God meant for those stories I typed to be for one special period in time, then that is where they are and that is where they'll stay.

Because, as much as I'd like to claim ownership of those words and rights to those stories, the fact of the matter is, they weren't my words anyway.  They belonged to God. 

Can You be an Advocate and Still be a Christian? ~ Guest Blogging Day

There were also two others, criminals, led with Him to be put to death.  And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left.  Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

And they divided His garments and cast lots. And the people stood looking on. But even the rulers with them sneered, saying, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if He is the Christ, the chosen of God.”

Luke 23: 32-35 NKJV

Advocate: A person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc., a person who pleads for or in behalf of another, an intercessor (dictionary.com)

Lately, as I've been sitting in church and listening to sermons, or taking a walk and listening to a podcast, I have been bombarded by messages that make me question my purpose as an advocate for my daughter who has special needs.  

I've received the message that God wants us to put others before ourselves.

I've received the message that God wants us to LOVE His people (which includes everyone...even those I may not necessarily "like".)

I've received the message that, when I make the world about ME, I am taking my eyes off God.

Logically I started to question my motives in EVERYTHING.  

• Is this about me?
• Is this just about my kid?
• Am I advocating out of FEAR or am I actually making the difference that GOD wants me to make?

CAN I BE AN ADVOCATE AND STILL BE A CHRISTIAN?

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

The Luscious Lies We're Fed ~ Guest Blogging Day

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 

Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; 

and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 

James 1:14-15, NKJV

Dear Mom and/or Dad, 

You're being fed a lie.  

Pinterest tells us:

• When it's real, you can't walk away.
• Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
• Maybe it's not about trying to fix something broken.  Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better.
• Do your things and don't care if they like it.  (This quote is actually credited to Tina Fey)
• If it makes you happy, no one else's opinion should matter.

These lovely quotes fall under the category of INSPIRATION or MOTIVATION when you search your favorite social media sites.

You're being fed a lie.

What those lines should actually be categorized as is: Easiest ways to destroy your life, Narcissism 101, or 5 ways to ensure you are unsatisfied with your current situation.

You're being fed a lie.

The TRUTH is: even if "it's real," you could walk away if you chose to. Doing something today just because it feels good to YOU could hurt everyone you love. Walking away from something broken and "starting over to create something better"...well, you tell me what that sounds like when you apply it to certain situations in your "broken" life.

WE'RE BEING FED A BIG, FAT VAT FULL OF LUSCIOUS LIES...

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

My Beautiful Feet ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid/www.freedigitalphotos.net

And how are they to preach unless they are sent? 

As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those 

who preach the good news!"

 Romans 10:15 ESV

Paul is quoting from Isaiah when he writes to the Romans about the beautiful feet of those who bring good news.  I had never really been "caught up" in this verse before, but a pastor at our church referenced it a couple of weekends ago, and I was on worship team that weekend, so I heard it four different times and it snuck deep inside my heart.

• I want to be beautiful.  
• I want to have an impact.
• I want to change the world. 

But, how can I do that as and still be a wife, daughter, mother (of a child with special needs) and substitute teacher?  I'm a sister, cousin, and friend.  

How can I do it all?

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Life ~ Guest Blogging Day

Evie in the Hospital following her Wilms Tumor diagnosis in 2005

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, 

“Put out into deep water, 

and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, 

“Master, we’ve worked hard all night 

and haven’t caught anything. 

But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

Luke 5: 4-6 NIV

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending a conference in Redding, CA called GrowU.  One of the "top billed" speakers of the event was Chris Brown, who is one of my favorite storytellers because he has a tremendous gift for bringing scripture to life.  

On Saturday night he retold the story of Jesus choosing his first disciples.  And, when Mr. Brown re-tells this story, you suddenly realize how God chooses us today in the very same way as He chose people back in biblical times.  

When you read Luke 5, you read about some fishermen who are cleaning their nets and Jesus asks Simon to take him out in his boat so he can speak to a crowd who has gathered on the shore.  Now, fishermen fish at night, which means, if Simon was in and cleaning his nets, he had just been out fishing all night long.  

Working hard.  

He was exhausted. 

And Jesus comes along and says, "Hey, can you take me out in your boat?"

Ugh.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

"Come on, God! Let me Worship in Peace!" ~ Guest Blogging Day

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John 4:24 NIV 

I found myself in unfamiliar waters on Saturday of last week.  We had tickets to see Chris Tomlin's Worship Night in America here in Reno and we had been looking forward to it for MONTHS!

However, after a sleepless night with one of my elderly cats who was having...eh-hem...intestinal issues, and a long day of watching BOTH my cats refuse food; my husband also wound up on crutches with a chronic foot injury, and I was looking at my jam-packed schedule trying to determine when I'd carve out time to get my cats to the vet (hoping it would NOT be to put a cat to sleep!).

I was pretty ticked off with the whole world...

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

Stop, Think and Feel ~ Guest Blogging Day

Whoever is patient has great understanding, 

but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.  

Proverbs 14:29 NIV

God has been working on me and my patience as I've gotten older. He continues to show me more and more of how foolish I appear when I am angry. A recent sermon that I heard at our church was on the topic of anger and how to rid your life of anger. It was tremendous because the most important thing I gleaned from that sermon was the fact that my ANGER is ALWAYS the band-aid on top of a different emotion.  

Take for example my experience recently in trying to start a dialogue with a number of different people in our state assembly or even those in my own city regarding Rare Disease Day. I had sent in my proclamation request to the state in the month of November and had e-mailed a number of different people in the middle of January trying to drum up enthusiasm for the event. However, I found that I wasn't getting responses from anyone!

I was so ANGRY. I had that feeling of, "Of course, here we go...no one cares."

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

When a Friend Speaks the Truth ~ Guest Blogging Day

Kathryn with Evie

Many are the plans in a person's heart,

but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21 NIV

I was driving home from the hospital with my baby girl in the car.  My heart was racing and my blood pressure was high.  How could God do this to us?  Just when we had reached the finish-line of chemo...boom, another punch in the gut.

I dialed my friend Kathryn and she answered.

"Can you believe it, Kathryn?  We just finished chemo and now she has pneumonia?  Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?"  I say in response to her, "Hello".

"Tammie Jo," she replied, "This is your life...stop waiting for it to change."

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Preparing for the Flood ~ Guest Blogging Day

Mount Rose in Reno Nevada

Trust in the Lord forever, 

for the Lord, the Lord himself, 

is the Rock eternal.  

Isaiah 26:4 NIV

Last week my family arrived back home to Nevada from our vacation in Florida with just enough time to make a run to the grocery store for food and supplies before the torrential rains hit Northern Nevada and California.  On our first week "back to school" after winter break, our first day was cancelled, the following two days consisted of late starts due to closed roads which had flooded and high schools being turned into shelters for evacuees, and icy roads as the temperatures were dropping and still more precipitation was falling.  School was again cancelled on Thursday and we had another delayed start on Friday.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

If You Don't Hate Christmas Yet...Guest Blogging Day

If anyone comes to me and does not hate their father and mother, 

wife and children, brothers and sisters

--yes, even their own life--

such a person cannot be my disciple. 

Luke 14:26 NIV

I know, I know...this doesn't SOUND like the start to a post about Christmas-but it's a message that God has been giving me repeatedly in the past week.

It READS as though it's a message of hate...

It READS as though it's contradictory to a commandment about honoring your father and mother...

What it really IS, however, is a statement about how much we have to GIVE UP in order to BE a Christ-follower.  

However much we love our family- We need to love God more.

However much we love our pets-  We need to love God more.

However much we love our job-  We need to love God more.

We need to love God MORE.

We need to love God MORE.

We need to love God MORE.

This is the repeated message that God is delivering to me this holiday season.  Whatever I love in my life, I must love God more.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Why it's HUMANLY Impossible to be the Parent of a Child with Special Needs ~ Guest Blogging Day

"See now that I myself am he!

There is no god besides me. 

I put to death and I bring to life, 

I have wounded and I will heal,

and no one can deliver out of my hand."

Deuteronomy 32:39, NIV

I can't do this.

I wish I could run away.

I am FAILING at this.

I give up.

I have thought these thoughts before, and perhaps I may again, and it's only through the grace of God that I can get up each morning and muster the energy to make the coffee, shower, smile and go bravely into a brand new day.

I do this for my daughter, my husband and my God.

I do this because I KNOW for a FACT that I AM A WINNER...and I'm ONLY a winner because Jesus Christ died for me and conquered the grave.

BUT WAIT! Let's take a step back.

Why is my life so hard that I may have thought the thoughts that I listed above?

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

SMART Goals for Salvation ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image Courtesy of stockimages/freedigitalphotos.net

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for 

those who are in Christ Jesus. 

Romans 8:1 NIV

As parents of children with special needs, we will often become familiar with the acronyms for so many educational "catch-phrases" or fads. One that I've been looking at lately: SMART Goals. While the term is attributed to a 1980's business writer, it's often also used in education to teach students how to set goals, both short and long term.

Here's how SMART works. When you're setting a goal, you want it to be:

S: Specific
M: Measurable
A: Attainable
R: Relevant
T: Timely

Okay. This looks great when you're talking about a goal like finishing a paper for a class, or losing weight by a certain point in time. But, what about our biggest goal? What about that ultimate goal we know is waiting for us at the end of our life?

Heaven.

How do we set the right goals in order to get to Heaven? What do we need to do?

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

The Top Four Phrases I Stole from Jesus ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image Courtesy of pat138241/freedigitalphotos.net

As a parent of a child with special needs, I have found that many times I can relate so clearly to many of the emotions that Jesus experienced as he walked the earth in the form of a man.  

The fear, the pain, the rejection...so many things that you would never think GOD would experience; and yet, he did, so he CAN truly relate to us in many of our raw and brutal emotions.  

The following are my top four phrases which Christ himself uttered 2,000 years ago; long before I ever did.  And yet, it brings me so much comfort to know that "he gets it."

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

What I Learned at the Water's Edge ~ Guest Blogging Day

Then behold, men brought on a bed a man who was paralyzed, whom they sought to bring in a lay before Him. And when they could not find how they might bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the housetop and let him down with his bed through the tiling into the midst before Jesus. When He saw their faith, He said to him, "Man, your sins are forgiven you."

Luke 5:18-20 NKJV

The Child: I shuffle along, kicking up the dry mountain dust, coating my tennis ball in a thick clay-like film. My white cane hits a gnarled tree root that rises up out of the ground. The cane is stuck in the root and its handle slams painfully into the my hip bone. I let out a groan and wince from the sudden jab of pain. I hear my mother inhale sharply in response to this, and know she is frustrated again by the surroundings and the difficulty we are both experiencing.
The Mother: I see my daughter tripping along the rock, rooted, dusty path down to the lakefront. Last night I was in tears in our cabin at camp. I was sweaty, sticky with bug repellant, and tired from the numerous trips to our cabin from the car full of our sleeping bags, pillows, baggage and more. I didn't have a daughter who could carry her own things, so I needed to carry both of our belongings myself.

I was hurt by the "looks" at my daughter from these new peers who did not know her. The looks communicated fear from some and pity from others. None of these felt good to my heart, and I heard the rush of fear rumbling through my head as I experienced a feeling of rejection that I had not known in several years.

Now, the next morning, we are trekking down to the lakefront ahead of the rush of kids in order to try to safely navigate the rocking, dusty, uncertain path straight down into...what? For what? I feel my daughter stumble and my shoulder burns with pain as I squeeze my right hand around her wrist and strain to help her stay on her feet. I take in a sharp breath to try to lessen the intensity of my pain and keep my eyes from tearing up.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

The Divine Call of Dignity ~ Guest Blogging Day

Photo Courtesy of grandfailure/freedigitalphotos.net

When he arrived at the house of Jairus, he did not let anyone go in with him except Peter, John and James, and the child’s father and mother. Meanwhile, all the people were wailing and mourning for her. “Stop wailing,” Jesus said. “She is not dead but asleep.”

They laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. But he took her by the hand and said, “My child, get up!” Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat. Her parents were astonished, but he ordered them not to tell anyone what had happened.

~ Luke 8:51-56, NIV ~

There is so much to the two stories captured in Luke 8: 40-56.  (I just listened to a sermon on this passage at church this past week, and was completely absorbed in the message.)  We learn about a woman being healed, and a girl being raised from the dead in this very short, concise part of scripture.   

But, these stories didn't speak to me because of the healing or the resurrection...they spoke to me because of what they reveal about the nature of God; that He places a priority on the DIGNITY of each individual, and that He takes into consideration the PLACE that people hold in society. 

HOW ARE WE VALUED IN SOCIETY? 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Well...I Hadn't Planned on That...~Guest Blogging Day

To humans belong the plans of the heart,

but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

All a person’s ways seem pure to them,

but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,

and he will establish your plans.

Proverbs 16:1-3 NIV

Last year our daughter reveled in the glory of watching the K-Love Fan Awards on TV. We had streamed it through our Apple TV and it was a thrilling experience for her. Considering the fact that she doesn't even like watching MOVIES because they run so long, her staying put long enough to watch an award show for 3-4 hours was a miracle.


This year, we had planned to do the same thing. She had even suggested we use TV trays to eat dinner in the family room while we watched. We were ready for an "easy" night...
A.K.A. TV was going to entertain her, and I was likely going to fall asleep.
My husband, fortunately, realized a couple hours before show time that it was NOT going to be streaming live aside from on the radio station.

Uh-oh. 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

My Top 7 Bible Passages to Remember When it's IEP Time ~ Guest Blogging Day

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens...

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

It's time for our daughter to transition to middle school.  More so than moving from Wisconsin to Nevada, this transition is taxing on my mental state.  I mean, I'm a substitute teacher, and I SEE the difference between elementary and middle school every day!!!  So, the fact that God has me simmering on some very comforting verses at THIS particular time has been quite helpful and has kept me CLINGING TO his promises.

Here, in no particular order, are my favorite pieces of scripture to remind me of God's love and faithfulness during IEP season and times of transition...

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Begin Again ~ Guest Blogging Day

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him 

and was filled with compassion for him; 

he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Luke 15:20 NIV

We hear the phrases often:

• It's time for a fresh start...
• It's never too late to begin again...
• Let's go back to the beginning...
• Can I get a do-over?

But, in this life, we are accustomed to TRUE, and REAL "fresh starts" as being few and far between. I mean, how many "fresh starts" do we REALLY get?

Think about it:

• You can retake a class for a better grade, but you still have to pay again.
• You can make bail and get out of jail, but it's probably still on your record.
• You can apologize to someone for a wrong thing you have done, but they will likely remember it and have a hard time rebuilding the trust that was lost.

I am a big fan of fresh starts.  I just re-dedicated myself to a more structured workout program.  I grew "lazy" a couple years ago and started to workout for 15 minutes rather than a half hour, and I was starting to really see the repercussions of that.  I was taking a lot of short-cuts in my workouts and not doing the hard moves in the right way.  I needed to get to a place where I was ready to BEGIN AGAIN.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

No One Can Understand You (Part 2) ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image Courtesy of Pansa/freedigitalphotos.net

When he has brought out all his own, 

he goes on ahead of them, 

and his sheep follow him 

because they know his voice. 

John 10:4 NIV

Have you ever had the embarrassing experience of carrying on a telephone conversation with someone who you THOUGHT was someone else?

Perhaps it doesn't happen quite as much now with caller ID and the use of cellular phones, but there were many times that people would call our house when I was a teenager and mistake me for my sister or mother.

Our voices can get distorted, and there can be noise on the "line" which makes it difficult to tell one voice from another. 

Similarly, my daughter struggles with her speech, and has always had a speech delay. She was diagnosed with speech apraxia at five years old and developed a stutter as recently as 2012. When she was five and received her apraxia diagnosis, the test results showed that she was only understood by a naive listener 12% of the time. Can you imagine that? A five year old who goes through her day being MOSTLY misunderstood?

I still find that I will "translate" her statements to people if they don't know her well because even with years of speech therapy, her communication is something one has to grow accustomed to.

Where am I going with this? 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

No One Can Understand You (Part 1) ~ Guest Blogging Day

Image Courtesy of Pansa/freedigitalphotos.net

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding—

indeed, if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord

and find the knowledge of God.

~ Proverbs 2:1-5, NIV ~

God has been working on a weakness of mine for a long, long time.

So has Satan. 

I would never have thought that my volunteering or using my “gifts” could become stumbling blocks for me, but, whoa, Nelly… did they ever!

Thankfully, a series of sermons, devotions, and passages from books I’ve been reading finally convinced me that I needed to make a change… 

A BIG CHANGE. 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...