Once Upon a Carousel...

I believe it came attached to a gift that I received from my Grandma Joan and Grandpa Turk for Christmas

My Favorite Christmas Ornament

one year when I was still in junior high.  The frosted coating shimmered, and the ornament itself appeared delicate, almost fragile.

It was a carousel horse, one of my first.  I think this particular ornament was perhaps the catalyst to my years of collecting and drawing the magnificent creatures.

What's Your Problem?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how my ways aren't the same as God's ways.  I'm not sure if that is exactly what Einstein meant when he said that we can't use the same thinking to solve our problems as we did when we created them,but that's how it translates to me.  The root of ALL of my problems is my conceit.  It's the part of me that wants to play God in my own life.  That is the thinking I use, when I create my problems.

A Brand New Day

As I jumped into my dream of blogging/writing for the public, and not just for my own "day-dreamy" self, I started seeking out writing prompts, and various websites that might provide me with ideas for when I can't think of something on my own.  One of the pages that I stumbled upon was Sunday Scribblings, a blogspot that would post a writing prompt each week and then allow the writers to post their responses to the Sunday Scribblings blog.  No sooner had I found Sunday Scribblings, when the very last of their 400 writing prompts was published.  Finale.

"Good timing, Tammie," I thought to myself.  But, as I pondered the idea of Finale a while longer, I realized that, while Sunday Scribblings was no longer going to post "new" writing prompts, there were nearly 400 writing prompts running back over the years since the blog had been started which I could access and still use to prompt my writing.  So, really, this was still the beginning for me.

Isn't that true with life?  How many times do we mourn the "end" of something; a job, a

A refreshing start is like a bubbling source of water...

relationship, a life, and then find out that it was only the beginning to a new chapter?  Life is a perpetual cycle of endings and beginnings.  I have gotten to the point where I typically spend very little time contemplating the end of something, because my brain immediately starts thinking about what it might lead to; what will now begin?

The clean slate...

I couldn't wait to start college because I wanted to get away from high school; get away from a place where I had felt trapped in a box of labels from which I couldn't escape. 

• "Goody Two Shoes"
•  "Nerd"
•  "Cry-baby" 
• "Teacher's Pet"  

I knew that college would be a fresh start for me and I'd finally be able to be the "me" that I knew I could be.  Similarly, a new job always means a chance for me to learn how to better communicate with co-workers, and how to manage my stress better than at the last job.  A new friendship means a chance to be more positive with this person, and never to let gossip or two-faced talk become a part of the relationship.  

We're told in the Bible that the old us, the sinful us, dies when we become a new creation in Jesus Christ.  We are also told that God's mercies are new every morning.  If that is true, then each day can be just as refreshing as the "big" changes, the "big" finales.  Each day I can believe that the old sinful part of myself is dead and that I have the chance for a fresh start; a chance to be the "me" that I know I can be in Jesus. 

And so, with all that in mind, let the curtain now rise on a brand new day...

The Art of Flying~Give me Sensory Processing Disorder or Give me Dramamine...

I always try to look at the bright side of things.  Evie's sensory issues are no different. I can easily say that there many positive results from Evie's sensory-seeking tendencies.  

First of all, I hate flying.   I am extremely susceptible to motion sickness in cars, planes, trains, and on boats.  Evie, however, craves the feelings that come from being in motion.  We were on a horribly turbulent flight to Chicago one time, so turbulent that even the flight attendant was broadcasting over the speaker-system that he'd "never been on a flight like this before."  I was eating Dramamine like it was candy (which, I don't recommend considering how poorly I felt after all was said and done.)  There was one particular drop, (I'd consider it more of a plummet than a drop,) which sent my stomach soaring up through the air into the ceiling of the plane, yet I heard Evie say, "Woooo-Let's do that again!"

Another positive spin on Evie's sensory issues is that, because she is sensory-seeking, she's quite easy to entertain.  Rather than being nervous about loud music, or amusement parks, or fast amusement park rides, Evie loves them.  We take her to all kids of concerts, and outdoor music festivals.  She loves the music.  For two summers I have gotten us season passes to Noah's Ark Waterpark because the faster she's moving, the calmer she is.  

Evie also doesn't process pain the same way that most people do.  I think it still "hurts" her, but she doesn't react to all pain the same way.  For example, before her third birthday, she had found her way into our kitchen and had pulled up on the oven door. It just so happened that the oven hadn't fully cooled off after our pork roast, so she ended up with horrible burns on one hand.  She only cried for about 10 minutes.  The rest of the trip to the ER she was calm, as well as the duration of our visit there and her recovery.  On another occasion, Evie was stung by a bee, and the site of the sting turned into a staph infection.  Her hand was swollen, red and purple, and hot to the touch, but she still used that hand to perform all of her daily tasks like opening doors, and feeding herself.  Again, this is another "positive" aspect to Evie's sensory-seeking.  

Evie was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder when she was about 4 years old, but the signs were there much earlier than that.  The signs weren't fun:  banging her head on objects, hitting and biting herself as well as us (her parents), screaming loudly (to feel the vibrations in her chest), pulling her hair out, and jumping up and down (she'd jump so hard that once she broke her toe).  We took her to a genetic counselor and he recommended we have some tests run.  Those tests came back showing that Evie was sensory-seeking and based on that we were able to get her referred for occupational therapy (OT).  

The OT consisted mostly of modulated music therapy and the Wilbarger Protocol Brushing Program.  Both of these therapies helped Evie control her sensory needs much better.  We also developed a practical "sensory diet" for Evie that would provide her with a better sense of calm and well-being so she didn't feel like she wanted to "jump out of her skin".  

In the end, there are obvious difficulties associate with SPD, but I can see that some of the results are blessings in Evie's case.  As for me, I continue to put Dramamine on the top of my shopping list whenever we are planning a trip.   I close my eyes and picture a "large, open place" so I can avoid thinking about the small, "Tylenol-capsule" shaped mode of transportation in which I am traveling.  Evie continues to be a much better traveler than I.  The last trip we were on, she took off her headphones and turned off her iPad; she sat back and said, "I'm just going to enjoy the rest of the flight." 

Now...why can't I do that?

Kood I Whin a Spelin Bea?

Oh, for crying out loud.  I look at my status, or an e-mail I sent, or even a text to Jeff and I see the same typos over and over again.  "I live it!"  "I'm speaking rhetorically, if course."  "What's going in?"  Ever since getting my smart phone, I can't seem to type without creating same old typos for one solid day.  I don't have that little keyboard with the clicky buttons anymore!  Now my finger tips can be all over the keyboard, hitting wrong buttons here and there and I'll never notice...not until I see how ridiculous my messages look!

Here are my standard typos:

• if and of
• live and love
• dine and done
• win and won
• Gid and God (Seriously, how does auto-correct not get that?  What is a Gid?)

I know there are more, because I can look back at something I've typed and think, "Do my errors outweigh my correct words?  Not really." 

Then you have the "odd" words; those rare words that don't get typed very often, so apparently no one felt the need to include them in a Microsoft dictionary.  (Of course, Microsoft does make sure we know we are supposed to capitalize Microsoft, because I hadn't and it notified me that I needed to just now.)  These rare words come up quite frequently in my world of WAGR/11p Deletion Syndrome though, like:

• ophthalmologist
• aniridia
• keratopathy
• nephrology
• atrial septal defect
• genitourinary
• Wilms Tumor (sometimes with an apostrophe, sometimes not!)

For some reason, those words are just not a part of the spell-checks with which I have worked, and yet I have to use them pretty regularly.  So, evidently, I'm the expert and I have to add them into the dictionary on my computer in order to avoid seeing red squiggly underlines throughout many of the things I write.   

Now that I've told you mine, what are some of the typos you most frequently make?  Do you have to play "the expert" with some of the words you know that aren't in the common-computer dictionary?

My Favorite Christmas Traditions~Forgetting, Remembering and Celebrating

Wow, Christmas is only a week away.  I still have to mail a gift to England, and I'm just now printing my envelopes for our Christmas cards.  Aside from running one step behind at all times, here are a few more of my Christmas Traditions:

• Forgetting to use the Advent Calendar or Countdown Calendar:  Our beautiful countdown calendar is always forgotten, but still looks adorable.  Right now it's telling me there are 12 days until Christmas...WRONG!

Four Generations 2011

• Forgetting to wish my aunt a Happy Birthday:  Her birthday is December 2nd.  I get behind on turning my calendars after Thanksgiving and will typically get her birthday card to her mid to late December.  Thankfully, she loves me anyway. 

• Watching A Christmas Story:  Jeff and I like to pick a line each year and then try to turn to TBS to watch AT LEAST that part of the movie as many times as we can during their 24 hour marathon.  However, this is our first year without cable.  I guess we'll put the DVD on repeat.  Our favorite lines of the past are: 

• Flick, Flick who?
• But the bell rang!
• Bumpasses!
• Frag-eel-ay!  It must be Italian!
• Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.
• Naddafinga!
• Honors and benefits already at the age of nine!

• Baking Cookies:  They have to be exactly like my mom made them, a substitution will not suffice; Russian Tea Cakes, Ginger Snaps, and Swedish Sugar Cookies

• My favorite CDs:  Statler Brothers Christmas Card, Kenny and Dolly Once Upon a Christmas, Bing Crosby A Crosby Christmas.  There have been no CDs in recent history that can create such a feeling of Christmas inside me.





A White Elephant Gift

• Hockey Christmas Party:  A recent addition to our traditions...this is the night that our friends who have Badger Hockey season tickets in our section all get together before the game, have a white elephant gift exchange, and indulge in delicious snacks and drinks.  One of my favorite Christmas traditions for sure.

Of course I can't forget the endless get-togethers with all sides of our families.  I love Christmas.  It's magical. 

Evie had cancer during Christmas in 2005.  However, we knew that God is bigger than financial problems, bigger than depression, and bigger than cancer.  He has ruled over death and asks nothing from us other than our acceptance of his love and forgiveness, and our desire to praise him.  How much more magical can you get?  Nothing can separate us from God's love.

A favorite line of mine from the Statler Brothers' Christmas Card album is from the song Who Do you Think?  "They all knew men went to heaven, but now God had come to earth..."  I still get chills at that part of the song.


What are some of your favorite Christmas traditions?  Has there been a Christmas when you or a loved one were suffering?  How did you overcome that?

 

A "Cooler" View

My refrigerator sure does have a lot of stuff hanging on it.  Some days I can't keep it all up there, it just keeps falling off because I have run out of magnets and am asking one magnet to hold multiple things.  In spite of the quantity of things on there, what do the items on my refrigerator say about me?  I have to admit, I rarely switch them out.  Although, I was recently able to get rid of the enormous Leapfrog alphabet machine that was on there.  

The "a" says, "aaaaa",  the "a" says "aaaaaa",  every letter makes a sound, the "a" says "aaaaaa"....  

I was pretty happy to be rid of that. 

The items currently on my fridge are quite telling about what takes priority in our lives:

• Badger Men's Hockey Calendar/Schedule~this calendar tells me which weekends I can sing at church because, if there is a home hockey game, we won't go to MN
• Old pictures of our family and of us (Jeff and I) when we were still dating
• School issued pictures of family and friends
• Magnets with contact info on it for our church, the school district, Great Scott's Pizza, and the 11p Deletion research project at the National Institutes of Health...(you know, just in case I'm really bored and want to call researchers at the NIH)
• Collectable magnets; such as a multitude of Wizard of Oz magnets, some Noah's Ark (Evie's nursery them when she was a baby), and a magnet that reads, "This wine is making me AWESOME"
• Evie's artwork~we can't hang her math worksheets because, since she is legally blind, they are blown up to such extraordinary sizes that one worksheet would practically cover the refrigerator entire door

I guess the things on my refrigerator show that we have a great family, that we have wonderful memories, that we are involved and active people, and that there is one very wild Wizard of Oz fan in the house who likes her wine and shares a passion for hockey with her husband.  
 

Don't we feel honored when we make someone's refrigerator?  It's like having our picture in an award display case.  Writer and pastor Max Lucado once said, "If Got had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it."  I think that is really quite true. What do you have on your refrigerator?  Does it reflect who you are, or who you'd like to be? 

Just Blind Enough

How many of you remember Mary Ingalls going blind?  Having grown up in the late 70's and 80's, I am a product of Little House on the Prairie and I will never forget Mary screaming, "Pa, I can't see, I can't see!!!" Charles scaled the ladder to loft faster than a squirrel up a tree-and Mary grabbed hold of him with clenched white fingers as if holding on for dear life.

This was the image still embossed in my brain when I learned that my daughter, Evie would be blind.  She was only a few days old when we learned of her eye condition, aniridia.  She doesn't have irises, the colored part of her eye, just pupils. Cataracts and glaucoma are also a threat to her eye, and she has an increased risk of developing keratopathy (dry eye)  or a detached retina.  

The interesting  dilemma we find ourselves in today, however, is that, although Evie is legally blind, she still has very useful vision.  She needs to learn braille and cane-travel because it's easier to learn that now, while she's in school, and while her brain is still quick to absorb all the information that children can and do.  Learning braille is just like learning Spanish or German; learning cane-travel is much like taking ballet.  But still having the "useful" vision that she does,  gives her the innate compulsion to USE that vision rather than learning the methods used by those who are fully blind. 

I equate this dilemma to when my sister and I traveled to Mexico for a home stay with a family.  The family spoke Spanish and we were there to practice our Spanish.  We had to talk slowly, dig around in our brains for the right translations, and often we learned what we didn't yet know.  But we DID know English, and that would have been faster for us.  So whenever we met someone who spoke English, we would revert right back to that first language that we'd been hearing since birth. 

In the same respect, Evie reverts back to using her vision whenever she can.  She's learning braille, and memorizes the dots in the braille cells just like we memorize the shape of the English alphabet letters; but when the dots are there on the paper in front of her, rather than feeling the dots, she will hold them as close to her right eye (the "good" eye) as possible and READ the dots. A blindfold is required when we practice her braille because of that strong gravitational pull which draws the paper to her eye.  Yes, I have to blindfold my blind child to do her homework.

It's just interesting to think that her usable vision, which we ultimately know will fade as she gets older, is an obstacle that keeps her from leaping forward in the "subjects" that are helpful to those who are blind.  Of course we cherish every day that Evie can see; can read large print, can read signs in the stores and on building fronts, can recognize faces...it's all a gift.  I know many families of children with Evie's condition have struggled with watching the vision that their child once had disappear.  I know we will go through that too.  But for today, I'll thank God for making Evie "just blind enough" that we can plan for the future, but still see what beauty is here before our eyes..

What is the one thing that YOU would miss seeing if you were to go blind?

I was Born Again in 2013~What's YOUR theme for 2013?

My Roadshow pass to see Skillet in 2014!

This was the best year of my life…

Can anyone say that as the year comes to a close?  I don’t think so. Each year of my life has provided me with growth and change.  Some of it has felt awful, and some of it has felt wonderful.  The year 2013, if summed up with one word for me, with one theme, it would be REBIRTHING.

It may seem lame; a little bit like a music tape that a teen would have put together back in the 1980’s…but the song Rebirthing off of Skillet’s album Comatose describes me as I went through the end of 2011-2012.  It was a death to my “self”, and a rebirthing of who I am in Christ.  Considering that I was technically born-again in 1981, I am living-proof of how a person’s relationship with Christ changes throughout her life. 

I lie here paralytic, inside this soul
Screaming for you till my throat is numb
I wanna break out I need a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating

Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in
I've died

Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love, wanna live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Rebirthing now
I wanna live my life, wanna give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Right now
Right now

I lie here lifeless in this cocoon
Shedding my skin cause I'm ready to
I wanna break out, I found a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating

Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in
I've died

Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love, wanna live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Rebirthing now
I wanna live my life, wanna give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Tell me when I'm gonna live again
Tell me when I'm gonna breathe you in
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside
Tell me when I'm gonna feel alive

Tell me when I'm gonna live again
Tell me when this fear will end
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside
Tell me when I'll feel alive

Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love, wanna live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Rebirthing now
I wanna live my life, wanna give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Right now
(I come alive somehow)
Right now
(I come alive somehow)

Songwriters
Howes, Brian / Cooper, John

Published by
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

                                                   Read more: Skillet - Rebirthing Lyrics | MetroLyrics.com

God tells us that he can make all things new, and that certainly seems to be true for me.  His mercy and forgiveness are new for me each day, as they are for everyone who believes in him. 

The “rebirthing”, as with any renovation, was messy and uncomfortable at times; but in the end the new creation far exceeds any expectations that I may have had.  My cup is full; my cup is lifted…Cheers, God, thanks for a great year.

What would identify as your theme for the year 2013?

What is the REAL Problem?

Wouldn't you know it?  We get the tree up, get it all decorated and ready to go, and suddenly we realize there's a string of lights that's not working.  With all the technological advances in the world, haven't we figured out by now how to get a series circuit to stay lit even when one bulb burns out?  

The answer is "yes".  We have figured out how to keep a series circuit of tree lights lit when one bulb burns out, BUT the series circuit cannot stay lit if a bulb is REMOVED.  So, the REAL problem is the loss of a bulb; the whole string will go out. 

http://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/holidays/christmas-lights1.htm

 

The same thing happens with our spirit.  If we are feeling uninspired, or like we have a spiritual drought going on in our life, we need to look at the series circuit which runs our electrical current.  Something is missing, something has been removed in order for the current to be broken.  It's not just that a bulb has burned out; we have strong enough spirit to jump that bulb; but there is a complete removal of a critical piece of the spiritual circuit. 

What has been removed from our life in order to do this?  

Picture this, if you will.  Let's say that WE are each a string of bulbs.  God is the plug which connects us~sometimes he connects us to other people, sometimes he connects us directly into an outlet. God is the one who is equipped to radiate light, because the fuse is encased with him, within the plug.  Without the plug, we, the string of lights are completely useless.

The Holy Spirit runs within us; within the string of bulbs.  It is the current of energy that will flow throughout the entire string, and may even flow to others through inspiration if God has attached the strings to one another.  The Holy Spirit will supply the direction, power and energy to the individual bulbs, thereby radiating that light of God. 

The bulbs are Jesus Christ.  Without the bulbs, the Holy Spirit cannot flow through the string.  If a bulb is missing, if Jesus Christ is not a part of us, the entire string will go out because there is not a connection through which the circuit can run.  

Are you missing a bulb on your string of lights this season?  The only remedy is to replace your bulb that has been removed.  Jesus Christ is the "reason for the season," so without him we have nothing~no current, no series circuit, no light.  Prayer and daily inspiration through the Bible is the best way to replace the missing bulb.  Jesus will come to you when you call on him. 

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  John 1:5

Third verse better than the first...



I wish it were summer, I want to be warm again.

I think some of the best verses from Christmas carols are most often the ones that are omitted to save time!  (Or, in the secular world, to gloss over the true meaning; but that's a topic for another day.) In  order to pay due respect to many of these verses, I'm going to share them tonight.  Here we go, some of my favorite "mystery" verses from some of my favorite Christmas carols. Pay attention to the last one.  It's a DOOZY!

O' Holy Night

Led by the light of Faith
Serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts
By His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wise men from the Orient land. The King of Kings lay thus
In lowly manger,
In all our trials
Born to be our Friend!
He knows our need,
To our weakness no stranger;
Behold your King!
Before the lowly bend!
Behold your King! your King!

accessed on 12/11/13 at http://www.carols.org.uk/ba32-o-holy-night.htm

 

Silent Night

 

Silent night, Holy night
Son of God, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth!

accessed on 12/11/13 at http://gcarlmoore.com/2013/12/06/loves-pure-light/


Joy to the World

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.  

accessed on 12/11/13 at http://www.carols.org.uk/ba27-joy-to-the-world.htm

 

 

What Child is This?

 

Nails, spear, shall pierce Him through,
The Cross be borne, for me and you:
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

accessed on 12/11/13 at http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/andrea+bocelli/what+child+is+this_20893161.html

 

 

Good Christian Men, Rejoice!

 

Good Christian men, rejoice
With heart, and soul, and voice;
Now ye need not fear the grave:
                (Peace! Peace!)
Jesus Christ was born to save!
Calls you one, and calls you all,
To gain His everlasting hall:
Christ was born to save! Christ was born to save!

 

accessed on 12/11/13 at http://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/good_christian_men_rejoice.htm

Hark, the Herald Angels Sing!

 

Come, Desire of nations, come,
Fix in us Thy humble home;
Rise, the woman’s conqu’ring Seed,
Bruise in us the serpent’s head.
Now display Thy saving power,
Ruined nature now restore;
Now in mystic union join
Thine to ours, and ours to Thine.

 

Adam’s likeness, Lord, efface,
Stamp Thine image in its place:
Second Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy love.
Let us Thee, though lost, regain,
Thee, the Life, the inner man:
O, to all Thyself impart,
Formed in each believing heart.

 

 accessed on 12/11/13  http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/h/h/a/hhangels.htm

 

I mean, come on...how awesome are those two verses from "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing?"  Those lines are straight out of Genesis and Romans.  I was overwhelmed when I found them, and wish so much that we included them more in our typical and contemporary "renditions".  The Word of God is so powerful, that if we sang it more frequently, it would have life-altering power. 

 

Adam's likeness, Lord, efface, Stamp Thine image in its place~second Adam from above, Reinstate us in Thy love. 

 

Yes, Lord, yes.