While I was at the Funeral for My Old Dreams

it was spelled out in black and white...
there was a difference in her DNA...
this would not be a "normal" life for our first and only child...

our life was now a query and a question mark rather than an exclamation with a point.

while i was at the funeral for my old dreams,
jesus came and sheltered me
with loving eyes and gentle hands,
with peaceful breaths and merciful words.

while i was at the funeral for my old dreams,
i slowly realized the new,
dreams don't always come true,
but god's unfolding promises do.

while i was at the funeral for my old dreams,
i knew that he'd designed this beautiful journey,
it would not look like my plan,
my plan was now under the earth, and somehow that didn't hurt.

while i was at the funeral for my old dreams,
i began to smile...one day,
after a while,
i settled into today and suddenly we are miles away from the graveyard where we left the old dreams.

those old dreams do not fit us now anyway...

No One Can Understand You (Part 2) ~ Guest Blogging Day

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When he has brought out all his own, 

he goes on ahead of them, 

and his sheep follow him 

because they know his voice. 

John 10:4 NIV

Have you ever had the embarrassing experience of carrying on a telephone conversation with someone who you THOUGHT was someone else?

Perhaps it doesn't happen quite as much now with caller ID and the use of cellular phones, but there were many times that people would call our house when I was a teenager and mistake me for my sister or mother.

Our voices can get distorted, and there can be noise on the "line" which makes it difficult to tell one voice from another. 

Similarly, my daughter struggles with her speech, and has always had a speech delay. She was diagnosed with speech apraxia at five years old and developed a stutter as recently as 2012. When she was five and received her apraxia diagnosis, the test results showed that she was only understood by a naive listener 12% of the time. Can you imagine that? A five year old who goes through her day being MOSTLY misunderstood?

I still find that I will "translate" her statements to people if they don't know her well because even with years of speech therapy, her communication is something one has to grow accustomed to.

Where am I going with this? 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

No One Can Understand You (Part 1) ~ Guest Blogging Day

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My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding—

indeed, if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord

and find the knowledge of God.

~ Proverbs 2:1-5, NIV ~

God has been working on a weakness of mine for a long, long time.

So has Satan. 

I would never have thought that my volunteering or using my “gifts” could become stumbling blocks for me, but, whoa, Nelly… did they ever!

Thankfully, a series of sermons, devotions, and passages from books I’ve been reading finally convinced me that I needed to make a change… 

A BIG CHANGE. 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

Pictures

Sometimes I stare at pictures on the wall and wonder how so much time could have passed so quickly.

I remember that family photo, taken when I was permed and eye-lined; with the coke-bottle glasses and "Life Goes On, Becca" frames.

I remember that trip to Arizona, and Dad all giddy taking close-ups of the cactus.

I remember when Mom went to Florida and came back having seen those ocean sunsets, and she framed one so we could see it too.

Pictures hang on the walls of the homes we inhabit.  

They tell our stories...

We hang the best photos on the walls of our homes...
We post the best photos on the walls of our Facebook...

And that's...OK...

as long as we remember that we ALL edit our photos both inside and out...

Written in response to Flower Print Wall image writing prompt. 

The Gift of Healing ~ A Gift for All? ~ Guest Blogging Day

When Jesus had called the Twelve together,

he gave them the power and authority to drive out all demons

and to cure diseases, 

and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God 

and to heal the sick... Luke 9:1-2 NIV

There it is. Jesus sending out his disciples to proclaim the Kingdom and to heal the sick.

This was not long after he had first chosen his disciples either. They were still pretty rough around the edges.

But, do WE still have the power to heal? Is that just an old "gift" from the days when Jesus was walking the earth and after his death and resurrection to try to garner more followers?I believe we DO still have the power to heal, and I believe we DO all get called to that privilege as disciples of Christ.

Call me a Jesus Freak...but, I do.Back in 2004, my daughter wasn't even 6 months old and she was lying on a table waiting for her second eye surgery. She has glaucoma, and it was roaring like a lion from the time she was just a newborn.

I had my journal with me that day and had started to "prayer journal" the minute the team took her back to put her under. Here is what I wrote:

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

I Didn't Find What I was Looking For ~ Guest Blogging Day

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”  Luke 4:18-19 NIV

A couple of weeks ago this passage in Luke piqued my interest in a sermon at church.  It really struck me because, well, my daughter is blind. 

Now, I’ve read plenty of the stories about the blind being healed in scripture, and that has never bothered me.  I’ve never thought, “Why would God heal one blind person here and another here, but not my daughter?”  I already knew that the answer would be, “He has a different purpose for her, and that does not include being healed at this time.”  

But, this particular verse stood out to me as peculiar because it seemed like a type of mission statement for Jesus, yet it seemed quite limited to me in the use of the word BLIND.

Why not say he would heal lepers, raise the dead, and cast out demons?

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

Gotta Be Flexible... Guest Blogging Day

Rejoice always, pray continually, 

give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is God’s will for 

you in Christ Jesus. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

If there's one thing I've learned about being the parent of a child with special needs, it's that I have to be flexible.  Sure, all parents require a  level of flexibility, but I think, especially when your child has an anxiety disorder, you need to be ready to make your current situation "work" to minimize the impact of stressful situations on your child. 

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Christmas is Ruined!!! - Guest Blogging Day

Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.

Isaiah 53:4 NIV

We have watched the movie Good Luck, Charlie-It's Christmas! well over 30 times in the past four years.  It's no wonder that my husband and I have integrated many of the lines from the movie into our daily conversations.

One of our favorite lines comes after the melodramatic mother, Amy, has discovered that she can't find the star for the top of the Duncan's Christmas tree.  She tearfully declares, "Christmas is ruined!"

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

Thank you for SHOUTING!!!

Being her fun, flashy self...

This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah  the son of David, the son of Abraham:

Abraham was the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,

Perez the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

Ram the father of Amminadab,

Amminadab the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab,

Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,

Obed the father of Jesse,

 and Jesse the father of King David.

Matthew 1: 1-6 NIV

I could have gone on here and inserted the genealogy of Christ, after all, God did...and quite honestly, I'm not doing the genealogy any justice by eliminating some of it. 

However, my story today isn't about the genealogy of Christ; it's about the importance of a name.

Sunday, we walked into our church in anticipation of having to locate a friend with whom our daughter could go to the Middle School worship service.  We attend a large church, a mega-church, if you will; so this was going to be difficult. 

However, the minute we walked into church I started to hear shouting coming from the loft area above the foyer:  Evie!  Evie!  Evie!!!

I said, "Evie, someone's calling your name." 

Her smile spread as wide as her face and her eyes twinkled.  She has this little happy "shiver" that runs through her body when she sees her friends...she shivered in delight upon hearing her name being shouted out from the loft.

Yes, a friend of hers had sought HER out and had called HER name.

Do you know what that means to the parent of a child with special needs?  Do you know what it means to the child?

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos... 

Thankful for the Mystery of God ~ Guest Blogging Day

Can you discover the depths of God?
Can you discover the limits of the Almighty?
Job 11:7 NASB

We moved to Nevada nearly a year and a half ago now, and quickly I adopted Lake Tahoe as my favorite place in the whole wide world. At first I loved the North shore for the ease of access to the water and the picturesque view across to the opposite side. I quickly discovered the beauty of the South shore too. The vast number of restaurants kept us well-fed, and the shallow beaches made it seem like a perfect haven for my daughter to safely swim. I also fell in love with Emerald Bay and it's mysteriously brilliant green waters. We would often have to drive right on through because it was hard to find parking in such a beautiful area, but when we could stop and snap a photo, we always would.

Then, this past weekend, a year and a half later, we finally made our way to Sand Harbor. Oh my goodness. I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. For a year I'd been seeing post cards and photos of Lake Tahoe and many of the images were taken from a shore which had these flat, grayish-tan PERFECT rocks. The blue lake water would compliment the neutral and graceful appearance of the rocky shore. I wondered, "From where is this taken? How have I never found this place?"

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

Don't Stop because Tuesday is Over...The Miracles of Giving Happen Everyday

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But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this?

Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand. 

1 Chronicles 29:14 NIV

This past Tuesday was #GivingTuesday which was a day to make a donation to a nonprofit organization, or several organizations--basically, it's a collective effort to encourage end-of-the-year giving at the tail end of a weekend of buy, buy, buy.  I was responsible for a big #GivingTuesday event for a nonprofit organization for which I volunteer; and I'm well aware of the hours I spent trying to prepare our donors and members for our largest collective fundraiser of the year. 

Because I know how much time and energy I put into my own organization's fundraiser, I wanted to highlight another organization which is near and dear to my heart. 

Snappin' Ministries. 

I started connecting with Snappin' about 3 years ago when I came across the blog Comfort in the Midst of Chaos (CITMOC).  It DID indeed bring me such comfort to read scripture, prayer, and testimony of how God works in the lives of other families with special needs.  God has instructed us to encourage one another, and who better to encourage my faith than other parents of children with disabilities and health issues?

I've seen Snappin' provide support for families with gift baskets, gift cards, gas cards, weekend retreats, organized family outings, side by side Bible study groups, on-line Bible Study groups, and on-line church (which is really critical to a lot of families who find attending church difficult due to disabilities and health issues).

So, why am I writing all of this?  Well...simple...I know that Snappin' Ministries is a miracle to me...and I hope that it can be a miracle for you.

Did you know that GIVING can open you up to so many of God's miracles?

• It draws you closer to him as it's an act of worship!  (For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21 NIV) 
• It helps you battle your own materialism. (Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 NIV) I personally have found that when I'm in the "I want, I want, I want" mode, a simple donation to a worthy organization (like packing shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child) satisfies my "shopping" need.
• God blesses those who GIVE!  (Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:7-8 NIV)
• It opens doors for a miracle.  (Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.  Malachi 3:10 NIV) Our family has seen God make money appear out of no where for us...one time it was in a oil-meter that had run high for years and we had a credit on our heating bill for a few months while our daughter was on chemotherapy.  Did we win the lottery?  NO!  But, did God show us how He is faithful and can do ANYTHING when we are faithful to HIS cause?  YES.
• It is rewarded in Heaven.  (But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:20 NIV) Every time you give to the cause of Christ, you are preparing part of your treasure in Heaven.

So, today I ask you to consider making a donation, whatever feels comfortable in your heat, to help an organization that ministers to families of those with disabilities and health issues.  If you would like to read about some of the things they did in 2015, you can find their most recent newsletter here: Snap Shots Newsletter

And, if you'd like to make a secure, tax-deductible donation to Snappin', you may do so Here:

http://www.snappin.org/#!give/c1jxp

Pray:  Heavenly Father, I pray that you continue to bless your ministries around the world.  I pray that you continue to raise up leaders to volunteer their time and that you provide abundantly for their finances.  Thank you for all the ways that you bless us when we give.  Amen

What is YOUR Quest? ~ Guest Blogging Day

What is more, I consider everything a loss 

because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.   

I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, 

but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  

 Phil 3: 8-9 NIV

I'm not sure if you've ever watched the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but one of my favorite parts is when they are trying to cross a bridge and there is a man drilling them with questions before they are allowed to pass.  The man standing guard always asks the person who is attempting to cross the bridge, "What is your quest?"

As parents of children with special needs, we may find ourselves engaged in a daily battle to determine our QUEST, or our PURPOSE in life.  I know that I do!  

I look at ALL there is to do around me…all of the “causes” for which I need to fight; the IEP meetings to attend, the support groups to connect with, the doctors appointments to schedule AND keep, the family and friends who need me and I them!  

Continue Reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...

The Audacity of Grace ~ Guest Blogging Day

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And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.  Ephesians 1:13-14 NIV

We are just closing in on the end of Mental Health Awareness Week, and I think this topic is very near and dear to the hearts of those who struggle with mental illness or who are the parent or relative or even close friend of someone who does.  

Can you be saved at one point...having received the Holy Spirit through accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior, but then, (perhaps while suffering from a mental illness), you commit some act which would be judged as a reason to LOSE your salvation? 

Let's face it...we all sin...repeatedly...even after being born again.

Let's face it...we CANNOT, while in these earthly bodies, do ENOUGH good to get into Heaven on our own.

Continue reading on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos...