Sunday, February 2, 2014

Even to Old Age...

Even to [your] old age, I [am] He, and even to gray hairs I will carry [you]!  I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver [you].  Isaiah 46:4

I think back tonight to when Evie was on chemo for her Wilms Tumor, and the panic attack I had in the movie theater in Delafield.  My sister and girlfriends and I had gone to see Narnia, and I barely made it through the first scene.  I felt the bassy rumble of the bombs dropping and the air raid sirens vibrating in my chest.  I felt like my skin was crawling, and I had the overwhelming sense of danger. 

I was not safe.  I knew that I was not safe.

My sister went into the hall with me after I told her what was going on.  I kept asking her to call 911 because I knew I needed help.  Something was wrong. 

Thankfully, my sister kept me calm (as calm as she could, at least).  She went and got my other two friends out of the theater and we went back to our hotel room.
Shortly after the incident, I had my first visit with a psychologist, and she helped me to manage the stress of being the parent of a sick child, along with a full time employee, a mananger, a wife, and whatever other hats I was wearing at the time. 
Where am I going with this?  Well, as I read the verse above from Isaiah during my devotional time tonight, I realized how powerful its message was and is.  My thoughts as I was suffering my panic attack were this:
  • I want to be taken care of.
  • I want to be held.
  • I want to be a baby safe in my mother's arms.
  • I want my mommy.
Don't get me wrong, my mom has been and always will be there for me.  But I wanted that actual feeling back of being a child, and being safe under the care of my parents; I didn't want to be the one responsible for the care of another...I just didn't feel strong enough.

But, in this verse in Isaiah, God is saying that HE will comfort us, HE will carry us...even when we are gray with age, he will cuddle us and keep us safe from harm.

Oh, how comforting that is. 

I know that I still struggle from time to time with the idea that I don't "feel" God's presence as I might feel the physical arms of someone cradling me and gently rocking me; but I do know that if I sit quietly and focus on God and ask for his presence, he will come.
Imagine how wonderful heaven will be when we CAN be in God's physcial presence?  Finally, the full comfort that we crave will be ours.  But while we're here on earth, we are God's comfort to one another.  Don't be afraid to share God's promises with those who are sad, weary, frightened and burdened. 

Speak life to them...speak hope to them...

Even to old age...   

Questions to ponder:

Have you ever had a panic attack or just been so overwhelmed by a burden that you didn't see any end in sight?

Do you believe that God can be as comforting to you as your mother, father or any adult who made you feel safe when you were little?

How can you start to feel the comfort that God promises to give us?  Do you already feel that he can comfort you in that way?

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