The Ring Bearer

What ring do you bear? Do you carry many rings with you through your life? Do certain rings call out to you, tempting you to give in to a sinful seduction that they represent? I was watching The Two Towers last night, the second movie in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and I realized how much we are ALL like Frodo.
Frodo, and humble hobbit, has been selected to carry this Ring to an ultimate destination in order to save Middle Earth. Many others have come along side him in order to help and protect him as he does this. Most importantly, he has his best friend Sam.
In one of the last scenes in The Two Towers, Frodo and Sam have been taken captive and ushered to another city being ravaged by war and despair. Frodo, as has happened many times on this journey, feels the Ring (that hangs on a chain around his neck) being followed; traced by those who hunt it and its power. His face is washed in a haunting look of “vacancy”…a look that tells us he is no longer able to make a conscious and wise decision. Frodo, entranced by the power of the Ring, walks out of protection and stands completely vulnerable to the Ringwraiths (dark, foreboding characters whom have already fallen victim to their Rings and The Dark Lord Sauron).
Sam sees Frodo lose control of his senses, and follows him to where he stands unprotected from the Ringwraiths. He pleads with Frodo to break away from the trance that has overtaken him and tries to pull him back into protection. In response to Sam’s, Frodo draws his sword and holds it to Sam’s neck…
And this is where I caught my breath…
How many times have I done that to Jesus?
Whatever Ring I carry, how many times have I let its sweet seduction entrance me? How many times have I wanted to “give in?” How many times have I decided that the lust, or greed, or power that the Ring possesses feels better than the “high road” that I find myself choosing? How many times has Jesus pleaded with me, “Don’t give in! Fight for what’s right! Look toward the ultimate prize, and not just what feels good now!”
You see, when Frodo “puts on the Ring”…when he wears it on his finger…he becomes invisible to everyone except for the evil eye that is watching him…The Dark Lord Sauron. When Frodo dons the Ring, the Eye of Sauron is immediately drawn to him, and knows his location and his weakness.
So it is with Satan. When we give in to our weaknesses, when we give in to the temptations that we carry, we become invisible to those around us, but fall even weaker at the feet of our Tempter. Suddenly, Satan has found a foothold and he knows just where he can get to us and cause us to fall.
And isn’t it true that when our weaknesses are pointed out, when our temptations—that we are perfectly aware of, but LOVE to defend—are thrown out in front of our faces…we draw our swords and threaten those who we love the most??? All they want to do is help us, and yet, we lash out and try to slice them down before they can show us how we have fallen prey to temptation—how we have relished the seduction of sin.
I don’t have any answers to this problem we have as we carry our Rings through life and hope to eventually save Middle Earth. All I know is that I have always wondered as I watched Frodo on his journey in these movies…What does that Ring mean???? And I finally figured it out last night. After watching the movie dozens of times, I finally saw that look on his face and realized…THAT IS ME! I am Frodo. I am carrying a Ring that seduces and haunts me. I am called to a task much greater than I believe I am capable of, yet it still is mine…my burden to bear, my journey to take. And, dear God, I need mercy on this journey, and I need friends who will uphold me and support me, but I also need friends who will call me out and say, “No! You are better than this! You are stronger than this!”
Let’s all take on this journey together, and fellowship with one another: encourage, lift up, call out, and show one another that we can make it to our final destination together. Our God will never leave us, nor forsake us…

My trembling hand to lift my cup...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 5:8-9

There are times where happiness brings me great despair because I want to grasp that feeling and hold tight to it...have it always accessible,and never feel like I don't remember what it feels like. But the truth is, many days I don't just stumble upon a dance floor...I have to BUILD the dance floor. And many days, I don't just feel happy,I have to CREATE the joy within myself. More often than not, I don't want the day to begin, I want a tranquil sleep that will last until I'm no longer tired. Lately I have found my life to be exhausting.

I have found myself completely dissatisfied with the cup the Lord has given me. I want fun, I want the party, I want life without burdens. Because of this, any complication that arises feels more like a jagged sword than ever. What maybe used to "give me a twinge" now feels like an open wound.

A friend gave me this verse to meditate on, Isaiah 55: 8-9. I love it, and yet, it's frustrating. I had built my house firmly on the foundation of God, and how God had THIS as part of His plan. But, it's so hard. And, just when I feel the glance of the sun on my shoulders the sand comes piling back down into the hole that I am trying desperately to climb out of. So, why can't God want even a little bit of what I want? Why can't He say, "Wow, this kid deserves a break."?

When we were little, we would sit up in Webster, WI and watch the sunlight dance on the crests of the waves on Owl Lake. We called it "diamonds on the lake." If you squinted your eyes, you could make them dance. Well, when I was in 9th grade, and about to be confirmed in my church, my mom wrote me a letter and I specifically remember it, on pink legal paper, she wrote, "Life won't always be diamonds on the lake." I wonder if she knew how those words would stick with me? There are so many days that I try to squint and see some diamonds dancing on the water...but when the sun isn't shining, it's hard to find the diamonds.

So, I know that I haven't had many entries in my blog yet, and already I'm running into a difficult situation--trying to find the strength to raise my cup and say "Cheers" to God...but I know, in faith that there will be a day that my strength will return and there will be a day when the diamonds will dance, and there will be a day when my heart is bursting with not just joy, but also HAPPINESS...and so, in faith I take my trembling hand and lift my cup...

To you, God, I say, "Cheers."

God's Masterpiece

I'm participating in a Bible story on the first 6 Chapters of Genesis. I'm learning all about the Creation, and how my belief in the Creation can either support or dismiss all other things that I have learned. It's been humbling and awe-inspiring-of course, when confronted with the God who made the Heavens and the Earth--who wouldn't want to fall to her knees?

This in-depth study has taken me deeper into the question--WHY WAGR SYNDROME? WHY MY DAUGHTER? God, what were you thinking when you made her, and why did you think I could handle this?

Here is His Response...

God's Masterpiece

God was knitting, knitting, knitting...
Knit, one, pearl, two...
Without sitting--just knitting, knitting...
Spinning strands of stars and light out to the Heavens through out the night.

God was knitting, knitting, knitting...
Angels saw Him drop the stitch...
"Wait!" they shouted, as it was fitting,
To show Him that He'd lost His sight; strands of DNA spun out through the night.

God was turning, turning, turning...
Folding over strand on strand...
"Don't you see this?" He asked the angels...
"This is art within My hands; a masterpiece before us stands..."

"The World is watching, waiting, waiting...
Waiting for My Son's return...
What they are missing while they're waiting,
Is all the beauty that We've made, while they are waiting to be saved."

"But, Father won't this dropped stitch hurt them?
Won't they miss the World they knew?
Cancer, blindness, pain that burns them,
Father, spare these Children, please,we ask you on our bended knees!"

God continued, nodding, nodding...
As He laced the woven threads...
Tracing Masterpiece and nodding...
"It is finished," He said with triumph, as the angels stood in defiance.

"Finished now, yet incomplete?"
Cried angels once at Father's feet...

"We stand here now; pleading, pleading...
Don't you see our hearts are bleeding...
For this child and all her World...
Can't you fix her before the pain ravages the World again?"

God now spoke while wading, wading...
Through a pool of silver and gold...
Sovereign and steadfast, Shepherd wading...
"What pains the World, Celestial Friends, is separation from Me, from God to Man. No perfection will they ever see, until they live at Home with Me.
And so this Masterpiece will tell My Story, a tale through pain that brings Me Glory.
So dry your eyes, go swiftly hence, she's down on Earth, you must commence
to usher her through her Earthly reign until she's home with me again."

My Cup Lifted--My Introduction

My Cup Lifted: My Purpose

I have a pretty full cup. My house is a mess, I'm losing things all the time, I forget important dates like birthdays, anniversaries and meetings. I lose my keys and I can't find mascara that doesn't eventually leave a dark "racoon-like" ring under my eye. But, since I was in 6th grade, I have wanted to be a writer, so I decided that now is the time for me to blog.

My Cup Lifted will hopefully give me an outlet to express my gratitude to God for forming me, for giving me life, and for helping me get through it. Have you noticed that life does not turn out the way you plan for it to? I remember playing make-believe in my bedroom as a little girl...I wanted to be living in Australia by the time I was 22, of course I would be madly in love, wealthy, writing successfully...it was going to be the Hollywood Fairytale.

But my life didn't work out that way. You see, what I've discovered is that we all have a cup with our name on it. It was designed specifically for us. Some are made of gorgeous crystal, with little clinking trinkets on them; some are made on a pottery wheel and may be bulky, heavy, rough-hewn; some are a bold brass with etchings on the sides that must be a bear to keep clean and untarnished. No matter how many times I have tried to reach for the pretty, dainty, fairytale goblet: it's gone by the time I get there.

My cup, the cup that God designed for me is this: it's made of clay, then baked and baked and baked in a hot fire to ensure that it's durable and tough as nails. It's painted with black and white stripes like a zebra print. When I was younger, I never noticed the print other than believing it was "trendy" in the 80's, but now realized that it's zebra printed in honor of my daughter who you will no doubt learn more about in this blog. There are medalians baked on to the cup...they symbolize my strengths: argumentation, creativity, perseverance, song, art, vision--they have been baked on through the years as I've walked through fire and gone through times of duress.

On my cup, there are also some flaws...little cracks in the clay that we have to repair with super-glue as needed: haste, stubborness, fear, a disatisfied heart, and laziness.

Let me tell you, there have been many times that I have wanted to say, "Can I get a new cup?" There have been times I have thought about breaking my cup, just so I could get a new one. I have coveted other people's cups as well, "I wish I had a little of what she does," or "how come some people have all the luck?" But, I have learned that the best way to love my cup is to accept it as it is...actually, the BEST way to love my cup is to celebrate it. I have created this blog in order to share with you how I will, at the end of a day or week, or however frequently I post; how I will choose to lift my cup and say, "Cheers" to God for a what he is doing in my life.

Today I will say, "Cheers, God! You have crafted for me a most beautiful cup: one that continues to change and morph, one that continues to challenge me, but also sustains me. Cheers for never leaving me no matter how many times I may drop this cup and spill all that you have given to me. Cheers for your ultimate plan for me to become the best there could be. Cheers..."