It's been a bad 1/2 hour. Just 45 minutes ago, I was watching her sit in the recliner with her legs tossed carelessly over the arm in a "regular kid" kind of way. She had her iPad in hand and was watching "Sam and Cat."
"Do you want to watch that on the Apple TV?" I asked.
"No, I just want to watch my iPad."
Ok...no big deal.
Until...
"Mommy, can we watch "Sam and Cat" on the Apple TV by mirroring?"
Now, for any Apple households out there, that didn't sound like a foreign language. But, for those who don't know, the Apple TV allows you to watch things from your iDevices on your TV...you can simply watch the videos and TV shows on there through your iTunes accounts. That's what we normally do.
However, what Evie was requesting was a feature called "mirroring" where you can transpose your iDevice screen onto your TV via the Apple TV. So, either way, you could watch something on your TV that you would normally watch on your iPad.
Except tonight it wouldn't work.
The iPad was giving us some message about the show being protected and couldn't be "shared" onto the Apple TV. No problem, right? Nope. BIG PROBLEM. She didn't want to just watch her show on Apple TV...she wanted it MIRRORED!!!
Seriously, watching it ON the Apple TV rather than mirroring?~It would have looked the same, sounded the same, lasted the same amount of time. It would have been EXACTLY the same.
But not to Evie.
Because of anxiety.
Because of WAGR.
Because something happened today, or happened over the past two or three days which built up, and built up, and built up into one great big colossal meltdown.
We went from Snow White dancing
while the bluebirds perched on her shoulder
to the girl in Poltergeist spewing vomit
while her head spun around
in a split second.
So, this takes me to why the new "Full House" on Netflix just might not work for us. It may...don't get me wrong. We'll give it a shot...but, I'm preparing myself for the disappointment.
First, if the entire cast is not there, we will be asked over and over again WHERE the missing characters are. "Why isn't Joey there?" "What happened to Rebecca Donaldson?" "Why is there no Comet?" As we try to answer the questions we will be missing the entire new episode which will lead to even greater confusion.
Secondly, the actors, if the same actors return, will have aged and may be unrecognizable. Did any of you parents out there live through the changing of the Marinas on "Fresh Beat Band?" You know what I'm talking about! Let's face it, we KNOW that Jesse and Rebecca's twins won't look the same, and we know that DJ will not likely have married Steve...
Thirdly, they won't all live together. Even now, Evie watches, with great angst, the episode where Jesse and Rebecca consider moving out on their own. "Where will they go?" "Are they going to move, Mommy?" "Where will Jesse live?"
Ev, you have seen this episode a number of times,
you KNOW they don't move out.
So, as much as I'd like to believe that the new Netflix continuation of "Full House" will be a thrilling event in our home, I have my reservations. Evie's brain gets into nervous knots, and the best way to untangle them is with things that are familiar and repetitive and predictable. Life rarely appeases that need. But, we try to safely introduce new and exciting things which can eventually become familiar and predictable as well.
Well, it's now an hour later. Things are a bit quieter upstairs. I still hear her crying. I still hear her trying to talk herself into a comfortable place in her brain. In the midst of the meltdown I gave her medicine and Daddy has brushed her teeth, given her eye drops. She's been back downstairs to apologize for hitting me and having a tantrum, because she "really misses Peppa [Pig] and really can't go to bed without watching an episode."
She's slept in a hotel, traveled hundreds of miles to San Francisco to be examined and have bright lights shined in her eyes, been talked about regarding her vision, been to the cardiologist and had her weight, her heart surgery discussed, been up early and in bed late, and been to school where they are prepping for major testing next week. I KNOW this kid is under stress. I wish I could take it all away from her and tell her that she'll never have to worry about another doctor taking pictures of her heart, or her belly, or her eyes...but I can't.
I can't help but to be there and to let her watch a "Peppa Pig" episode despite her behavior, because it's the best thing for her soul right now~that...a maybe mommy or daddy saying in that "Full House" sort of way:
I'm there for you, Babe.
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